Breaking Down The Utter Stupidity Of The Players’ Awards On BET
The First Annual Players' Awards that were broadcast on BET on Tuesday night were all about players voting for each other for random awards and then being invited to watch each other get awarded the awards that they gave to each other.
Cool. I guess there can never be too many ways for millionaire celebrities with superhuman physical abilities to make themselves feel more exclusive than they already are.
There's always been something a little weird about giving out awards to people whose job is already centered around winning awards. Athletes all have one common goal: win a championship, a title or a medal. So yeah, making up arbitrary categories so that they can win awards that are essentially meaningless to their jobs as athletes is a silly premise to begin with. It started with the ESPYs, which to their credit have expertly morphed into a platform with which they can honor and share inspirational stories of men and women across sports -- many of whom are not celebrities -- while still getting the attention and ratings that star-studded red carpet events demand.
Still, the fact that even ESPN had to revamp their shameless exploitation of athlete stardom makes it all the more perplexing that The Players' Awards is a real thing that is happening. According to BET it all started with Kevin Durant, who "expressed that the league's players should vote on their own awards because nobody knows the game better than them."
Okay, this is everything that is wrong with the NBA these days. Hey KD, here's a thought. Instead of pandering to TV execs for a way for you and your basketball buddies to hang out in designer suits on television together in the off-season, maybe you could focus on staying healthy and winning the one actual trophy that you're supposed to be revolving your entire career and legacy around.
Like dude, you're a superstar and the 2014 NBA MVP. You shouldn't feel the need to have people to make up an awards show for you and your friends. Get it together man.
Unfortunately it's ask and Durant shall receive. In June, BET Networks announced that it would broadcast the First Annual Players’ Awards in partnership with the NBA Players Association. Well it aired tonight, and the categories were unsurprisingly lame. In fact, they were just plain embarrassing.
I suppose you can't expect much from an ESPYs rip-off that was conceived in April and then put on the air three months later. That's barely long enough to make a decent Power Point presentation. Nothing makes that more evident than taking a look at the pathetic list of awards categories and the "winners".
Most Valuable Player - James Harden
Wait, what the hell? You guys already have an MVP of your league and we already know it's Steph Curry. His team won the NBA Championship. It's over. What are you accomplishing by doing this besides making everything awkward?
Best Rookie - Andrew Wiggins
HOLD UP. You voted the NBA Rookie of the Year as Best Rookie? This actually might be more insane than making up your own new MVP. This is the sports equivalent of playing Jeopardy with someone who says every answer two seconds before you but you yell it ten decibels louder and to try to pass it off like you both thought of it at the same time.
Best Defender - DeAndre Jordan
This is Mean Girls: NBA Edition. Straight up. "Um Kawhi, no offense but like...DeAndre is our bestie and totes deserves this award. #SorryNotSorry"
Global Impact Player - Pau Gasol
You guys legitimately just picked your only foreign friend. Pau is the Fez of NBA players.
Clutch Performer - Steph Curry
Sure, this definitely makes up for the fact that you tried to steal his MVP and give it to James Harden.
Hardest to Guard - Steph Curry
You spelled LeBron James wrong.
Best Home Court Advantage - Oracle Arena (Warriors)
So you picked the team with the most home wins. Brilliant.
Coach You Would Want to Play For - Greg Popovich
Coincidentally he's also "Person Most Likely To Think These Awards Are Complete Bullshit."
Player You Secretly Wish Was on Your Team - LeBron James
The fact that you would enjoy being in the NBA Finals every year is not a secret.
My god, what a trainwreck. If you all insist on continuing this charade next year, please just leave Popovich out of it. He doesn't deserve to be dragged into this.
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