Brian Scalabrine Can Still Crush You In 1-On-1 Basketball

  • Dylan Murphy

Even though Brian Scalabrine played in the NBA for 11 years, even though Brian Scalabrine was a serviceable rotation player for much of his career, he’s still perceived as some giant-doofus-red-head-end-of-bench cheerleader. That he’s a caricature of an NBA player more than an actual NBA player.

These days, post-retirement, Sacalabrine is taking to Twitter and working as a broadcast analyst for the Boston Celtics. But he’s also shutting up his doubters, trouncing them convincingly in 1-on-1 basketball. Last week, Toucher & Rich of 98.5 The Sports Hub hosted the “Scallenge,” in which Boston’s best took on the White Mamba in 1-on-1. Contestants sent in tryout videos to play, so Scalabrine’s competition wasn’t so shabby.

Still, the White Mamba crushed them by a combined score of 44-6 (11-3, 11-0, 11-0, 11-3) and earned this generous recap from CBS:

“Scalabrine — who spent the last few seasons of his career seen as the “human victory cigar” — easily defeated all four of his opponents, throwing down monstrous jams and sinking smooth jumpers as he beat them all by a combined score of 44-6.”

There’s good and bad in this, really: that there’s video (below!) of Brian Scalabrine giving 100% effort in dominating some nobodies (granted, one was a bench warmer for Syracuse last year) is undoubtedly a positive in our lives; but that this is even a conversation, that anyone would think nobodies could even come close to handling Brian Scalabrine in a game of basketball – enough already. It’s almost as bad as the yearly hooting and hollering that college basketball’s best team could beat the NBA’s worst, or some other-sport variation. These guys play their sport at the highest level for a reason, even if they might be more concerned with your electric bill.

[CBS Boston]