A Miami Heat Fan Freaks Out Over Chris Bosh’s Injury

  • Dan Fogarty

Here’s a Gchat conversation I just had with James, who runs our brother site Geekosystem. James is a devoted Miami Heat fan, and he freaked out this morning over Chris Bosh’s abdominal injury, which will keep Bosh out of the rest of the Indiana series. (My bitchy notes follow.)

James: :(
Sent at 1:54 PM on Monday
me: what’s up buffy the vampire slayer
James: Playoffs ova
me: why because of boshie poo?
James: Yep
me: pfft
have fun manufacturing that fake underdog status
at the fake underdog factory
James: We can probably make it by Indy
Won’t make it by Boston
me: o good lord
James: And if we somehow do, LeBron and Wade are going to play 44 minutes a night
They’re not even going to be able to jump to try to guard KD or TP or whoever, assuming they get to the finals
Also now no one can shoot a jumper
LeBron/Wade’s minutes though
That’s the 2nd biggest problem after losing Bosh
me: just stop it
he’s out for just this series as of now
James: We’re finding out officially after practice today
Out for series is scary enough as it is
Pacers are good yo
Dunno if you pay attention to them
If you watched yesterday you’ll notice we only took the lead when Roy Hibbert got into foul trouble
me: yeah i mean. they play in indiana.
James: LeBron played 43 minutes instantly
When Bosh went down
Wade up to 40
That’s bad, bad news
Sent at 2:01 PM on Monday
James: Bosh is super important, people outside of Florida and non-analysts like to pick on him, but he’s super important.
He still gets friggin 17/8 or so
And he spreads the D cause he can shoot all the way out, and that’s what they do
And it’s way better to have a Wade/Bosh lineup than a Wade/no one lineup
When Bron rests

Oh, poor Miami. It must be so tough for you to root for a juggernaut.

Look, I get it. You like a team that is impossible to like, so the prospect of some kind of adversity must be exciting. “Look!” You’re saying to fans of the 29 other NBA teams, “We’re just like you guys! We have problems, too! Problems besides remembering to get to the arena on time!”

Yeah, whatever. I’m a Knicks fan. You want to know what a real problem is? Our second-best player punched a fire extinguisher. Have any of your players punched fire extinguishers lately? No? Okay, then.

One note: this bitchiness comes with an opt-out clause, because all bets are off if Bosh misses the Celtics series, too. Those guys might actually take some swing games from you in the final two minutes, unlike Indiana, who is still a year away from having the confidence to do so. (Watch the last two minutes of Game 1: the Pacers look like a team who doesn’t think they should win on Miami’s home floor.)

Boston, and its wily group of old men, have no such issues. So if Boshie Poo misses those games (and assuming Boston gets past Philadelphia) the Celtics could give the Heat some issues.