Colin Cowherd Eviscerates Derrick Rose, Carmelo Anthony For Being Tone Deaf
The last two days of Derrick Rose's basketball life have been a cautionary tale of Aesopian proportions. The moral of the story: don't press your luck when you don't have any to begin with.
First, Rose went out of his way to mention his 2017 free agency prepartions at the Chicago Bulls' media day press conference on Monday. Publicly discussing one's eagerness to cash-in is generally a no-no in sports -- especially when that process is so far in the future -- but even more so for someone with a history of putting his earning potential over the success of his team. Worse still, by invoking his next contract, Rose made it sound like he's unaware as to how his current contract has handicapped the Bulls' ability to improve their roster and handcuffed a proud fan base to a team stuck in purgatory.
For the last four (going on five) years, Bulls fans have patiently waited for Derrick Rose to return from a repeated string of injuries so that his massive salary can actually translate to wins on the court. That's all they think about. All Derrick Rose can think about is getting another, much bigger contract. Tuesday's media day presser looked like someone giving themselves a present at someone else's birthday party.
He's missed 213 games since signing a five-year, $94 million deal in 2012, which means he's made roughly $240,000 for each game he's stepped on the floor. Whether it's bad luck or a vicious self-preservation streak that has kept him on the sidelines, fans who wake up at the crack of dawn to go to work everyday -- so that they can afford the ever increasing cost of Bulls' tickets -- hate hearing that kind stuff.
Rose is so apathetic about/oblivious to this rather obvious reality, he even implied that the $250 million he's earned/owed isn't enough to provide for his son. Who the hell is this kid, an aspiring venture capitalist? A hedge fund manager? Does he want his Bar Mitzvah to be held on the International Space Station? GTFOH...
Fast-forward to Tuesday evening, and once again, Derrick Rose is sidelined with an injury that will keep him out for an indefinite amount of time. A broken orbital bone at the hands, er, elbow, of a teammate, and everything instantly came full-circle. The guy who's indifference to the emotions of his fans manifested itself in a barrage of hilarious and insensitive Twitter jokes about his fragility (despite the freakness of his most recent boo-boo).
RELATED: The 11 Funniest Derrick Rose Memes
Derrick Rose been hurt more times than a black woman in a Tyler Perry movie
— Pill (@Pill4180) September 29, 2015
Derrick Rose deserves a hospital punch card. He has to have earned a free surgery by now.
— Myles Brown (@mdotbrown) September 29, 2015
congrats to derrick rose on making it halfway through a practice. new #tosh in 35!
— daniel tosh (@danieltosh) September 30, 2015
I just hope Derrick Rose can make things right with the voodoo priestess he clearly cheated on
— joe mande (@JoeMande) September 30, 2015
Wednesday afternoon, FS1's hot take berserker took the nut-stomping one step further, bludgeoning Rose's character in a scathing rant that (for once) had just the right amount of sweeping generalization.
"You see all the money they're passing out in this league," Cowherd said, reiterating the exact words Rose used on Tuesday. "You have missed 280 games; nobody wants to hear that."
"Nobody wants to hear that when they spend 500 bucks a night to take their family, middle-class people in Chicago, they take their kid to one NBA game a year. They live in Eastern Indiana. They can't afford to live in Chicago. They go to a single game a year with their son and you're never available to play. You have $100 million contract with Adidas and you want to talk about your son? Awesome! 'You know they're passing out a lot of money in this league and I want to make sure I get' -- nobody wants to hear that. You know what they want to hear? 'I've had six major injuries, all i care about is giving the fans who travel in that region in the country to come see me play an honest night's work and stay healthy.'"
"I have nothing against money. I ain't got nothing against you making a ton. I got nothing against shoes. But you've got to know right now when you are making in a day what a blue collar Chicago family does in a year, they don't want to hear about your money and your deals."
Cowherd even threw some heat at NBA superstar-turned-Steve-Jobs-wannabe Carmelo Anthony, who frequently cites his desire to be considered as a "tech pioneer athlete" -- whatever the hell that means.
"Carmelo Anthony will go on and on and on talking about, 'I'm a businessman.' You've been in the NBA 12 years, one legitimate playoff run. If you talk business, you have no idea what a turn-off that is to the American viewing public. So I always put NBA stars into two categories: the 'get it' crowd and the 'don't get it' crowd."
"Derrick rose is now officially in the 'don't get it' crowd."
[Drops mic, sends shockwave through Earth's crust, tears Derrick Rose's ACL]
The full rant, below...
As if this changes anything (it doesn't), Derrick Rose officially ISN'T done for the season, per the Chicago Bulls team website.
[Bulls.com] Derrick Rose’s procedure went as expected today. At this time it is estimated he will be able to resume basketball activities in two weeks.
The Bulls guard sustained a left orbital fracture in practice yesterday morning.
"Basketball activities," hooray!
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