D-Wade’s Ex-Wife Serves Subpoena To Pat Riley At Game 5

  • Jake O'Donnell

Divorce is messy. Especially when you’re as rich as Dwayne Wade. And especially especially when you’ve been with the person since you were 15, and you’re dating Gabrielle Union. Siohvaughn Funches (or at least her legal team) wants Pat Riley to testify regarding the Heat star’s contract. Ya know, so she can properly snag as much basketball cash as possible to raise their children.

What’s that? D-Wade has the kids? And she just got a settlement of $1M plus $35K a month? Oh, so she’s just greedy. K, well, good luck, Siohvaughn (pronounced pissed-off).

Sound kookie so far? Wait until you hear who exactly is trying to serve the supoena:

Process server Chris Yeoman, owner of Gotcha Legal Services, called the Heat “unprofessional.” His servers have tried to hand Riley his subpoena at the American Airlines Arena — to no avail.

Gotcha Legal Services? Get the hell outta here. That’s a real thing that has something to do with the rule of law? Sounds more like a zany prank show that whoopie cushions judges.

According to Florida law, an employer must comply in proceedings that regard an employee’s net worth, as to determine the value of his/her assets, which are then split up. So, after Gotcha Legal made a big stink-noise about getting their man Pat Riley, the Heat legal squad finally allowed the papers to be served at Game 5, and Riley will now be available to testify.

That’s right, some whacky legal crew marched into American Airlines Arena with the intention of serving Pat Riley a subpoena for something he literally has nothing to do with. And they succeeded. America, ladies and gentlemen.

Though D-Wade admits to being “probably a terrible husband,” he probably wishes the stoic too-cool-for-school Pat Riley didn’t have to get involved in the bitter dispute between he and his ex-wife. Imagine having to ask your boss if he could spend a day getting probed in a courtroom. “Hey, um, Pat, quick question. What are you doing Thursday?”

H/T Gossip Extra