Dan Le Batard References LeBron’s “Giant Royal Penis,” Implores Miami To “Spread Its Legs”

  • Dan Fogarty

Dan Le Batard is very excited about Miami’s free agent signings. Le Batard, who previously compared Dwyane Wade to an anxious housewife awaiting LeBron’s arrival, once again went all “Scoundrel’s Captive” on us when he referenced LeBron’s “royal penis.”

On his radio show, Le Batard said the following:

“Woo! Here comes the giant royal penis! South Beach, open your legs! He won 66 games… without Dwyane Wade! He’s the best player in the world. But he might not be the best player on this team! Chris Bosh: you’re the third best player on this team! New York: welcome to another decade of irrelevance! Cleveland’s owner is a crazy person! Happy LeBronnukkah!”

It’s actually quite funny, and pretty accurately sums up the craziness of the last few days: LeBron has a giant ego and probably is going to treat South Beach like a new lady friend who he’d like to have relations with. People are losing their minds, especially Dan Gilbert. And yes, New York probably won’t matter for at least another year.

Le Batard’s rant begins at the 1:15 mark:

[h/t The Big Lead]