Father’s Day Math: The Miami Heat Will Win Game 3 Tonight

  • Dylan Murphy

Reports indicate that tonight is Game 3 of the NBA Finals between the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Miami Heat. We’ve read all the articles and researched all the numbers, but have yet to come across definitive statistics that can accurately predict a winner. Well, the search is over.

According to exhaustive Googling, 10 of 15 Miami Heat players are fathers. Conversely, 6 of 15 Oklahoma City Thunder players have children. Because of the rules of Father’s Day karma, Miami’s more prolific child-bearing roster means a Game 3 victory is all but secure for the Heat.*

*Everything in this post is completely irrefutable.