Juwan Howard Struck Comedic Gold During The Heat’s Title Celebration By Doing The Cabbage Patch

  • Eric Goldschein

Fab Five fossil Juwan Howard was one of many Heat players to get their first ring this year (others included LeBron James, Chris Bosh, and the incredible irreplaceable suit mannequin that is Eddy Curry). And though he played some minutes during the season and provided leadership, there’s no doubt that Heat players will look back upon this moment as Howard’s greatest 2011-12 contribution.

Around the 1:25 mark (after inexplicably splicing in some footage of Howard bullying Lance Stephenson and then scoring a bucket), Howard starts doing the “Cabbage Patch” dance, made famous by the Gucci Crew II, Dr. Dre/DJ Yella and Jerry Rice. This old school jig being performed by a relic of the old school is, apparently, the funniest thing in the history of sports. Based on the team’s reaction, you’d think they were watching a Chris Rock stand-up set.

Check it out:

Juwan Howard, you’re so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You’re so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You’re so old, I looked in your year book and saw Jesus. You’re so old, you do the Cabbage Patch when you win the NBA championship. At least the people love you for it.

As a side note, props for giving a shout-out to the other Fab Five members. It was reminiscient of Kevin Garnett doing it “for everyone in ‘Sota.” Only one of those guys getting a ring? The same number as Eddy Curry? Now that’s funny.

h/t Quickish