Kenyon Martin Joins Rasheed Wallace And Tyson Chandler To Create “Technical Foul Big 3”

  • Jake O'Donnell

Not sure if this will strike fear in Knick opponents, but news of Kenyon Martin joining Rasheed Wallace and Tyson Chandler should cause league officials to poop their pants, ever so slightly. For what this trio lacks in offensive output, they more than make up for in turning an NBA game into a rage-cage-inferno of anger. Let’s break down the numbers, shall we?

Tyson Chandler has a career total of 88 technicals over the course of 12 seasons. But that doesn’t tell the whole story, because if you’ve ever watched him, you know he’s ALWAYS PISSED. He is tied for 7th in the league with 9 T’s this year already (mind you, he’s tied with J.R. Smith, and just behind Carmelo Anthony on the list.) However, his anger production has slowed due in part to the breakneck pace he was on earlier in the year, which would keep him from the playoffs, where I’m sure he’d love to face LeBron again. Remember this?

New kid on the block Kenyon Martin is a welcomed addition to the League of Shadows. With 104 techs over 12 years, not to mention 12 ejections, K-Mart definitely did not get that nickname from a sponsorship deal with the stores of the same name. Martin loves long walks on the beach, candle lit dinners, and verbally accosting/threatening Mavs owner Mark Cuban on live TV.

Last but certainly not least, is Ra’s al Ghul himself, Rasheed Wallace. Now, let me preface this by saying this dude has chilled out over the years, and from everything you hear, he’s the nicest guy in the world. His resume reads as such:
-317 career technical fouls (NBA record)
-26 ejections
-Founding badass of the late 90’s Portland “Jailblazers”
-Most technical fouls in a season (41, 00-01)
-Got a technical this season, and after this missed penalty free throw, was ejected for explaining that the ball was telling the truth…