Kobe Bryant: “Only Thing I Fear Is Bees”

  • Joe Levine

Big ups to Kobe for the reminder that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself bees.

After the Lakers’ big win over Toronto last night, Kobe Bryant was asked whether he fears failure, for some reason. Kobe had an interesting response to the not-so-interesting question.

While this might sound like Kobe was just being hilarious, I think he was actually serious. Consider the following:

1. Kobe ran Shaquille O’Neal, a man listed at 7’1″ 325 lbs., out of town.
2. Kobe consistently challenges the manhoods of seven-footers Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol.
3. Kobe was bored when the artist formerly known as Ron Artest got in his face and looked ready to throw down.
4. This.

I don’t think there is any doubt that Kobe is a bad dude. I also don’t think there’s any doubt that any one of us would lose control of our bowels if put in any of the above situations. Even Russell Westbrook, who has drawn comparisons to a young Kobe this year with his fearlessness and ferocity on the court, has backed down from Uncle Ron Ron even after his transformation into the slightly more docile Metta World Peace.

Still, it’s comforting to know that when it comes down to it, Kobe is like any of us when it comes to bees and would quickly channel his inner Nic Cage when confronted with the nasty little honey guzzlers.