Symbolism And Beef: Lala Vasquez Gave Carmelo A Gigantic Boxing Glove Cake Last Night

  • Jake O'Donnell

Supportive spouse/breakfast-cereal-flavored-human Lala Vasquez posted this picture on Instagram this morning. Aww, she got him a cake! Commemorating that terrible series he had against the Celtics, where the two-seed Knicks nearly blew a three-game lead to an ancient, injured, exhausted seven-seed. We see several possible motives for such a posting.

a) Lala is trying to regain some of the ground she’s lost, being pulled into on court trash talk/crowd chants last night, by talking the high road and showing her sweet side. Pun intended, if only by accident.

b) Lala is trying to get back in good standing with Melo, who has now thought about the idea of his wife being intimate/eaten? by scariest-guy-in-the-league, Kevin Garnett.

c) Lala is just trying to flood Melo’s memory banks with sensory stimulation as to dull the image of a nude Kevin Garnett.

d) Lala is trying to stick it to Jordan Crawford, Kevin Garnett, and other various haters, by basking in the Knicks successful advancement to the next round. In doing so, making them jealous that Melo has such a nice girlfriend.

e) Lala is implying that the Knicks beat up the Celtics by giving Carmelo an ornate “boxing glove cake.” Or that they should have. Or that the Celtics play dirty, and thats why Carmelo shot 38% for the series.

I mean, KG did pull his arm out of the socket.

Either way, it seems like a nice gesture after what was a grueling six game series. Not the cake, so much as the caption Lala posted with it, claiming Carmelo “put the whole city on [his] back.” Not so fast. He still averaged 29 points a game, but played about as bad as he possibly could. We’re sure Carmelo can’t wait to put it behind him, right after he eats this entire marzipan boxing glove.

You made history tonight. I don’t know a person who works harder then you. You put this whole city on your back and you made us proud. You never listen to the haters,doubters, critics, etc. you just stay focused and do you. Keep it up! Love you Always.

Photos via TerezOwens