Lebron James Vs. Steph Curry: Who Wins The Google Autocomplete Battle?
The 2016 NBA Finals will feature a decent, albeit uninspired rematch between the Golden State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers. By all accounts, the Warriors will absolutely handle the Lebrons. Sure, there's a chance that Lebron James has the series of a lifetime and single-handedly beats the Warriors; and for that I would be eternally grateful to the basketball gods. But that's probably not going to happen.
The fact of the matter is that the mythology of the "Lebron vs. Steph as the face of the NBA" debate is more interesting than the reality; that reality being that of course Steph has become the new face of the NBA. It's not even an argument. There isn't a human alive right now that doesn't think Lebron James is one of the greatest players and athletes that the NBA has ever seen, and he is far and away a better all-around athlete than Steph Curry. If the two were to compete in just about any other sport, I'd put everything I own on Lebron. But Steph Curry is King of basketball right now.
He is clutch. He is a stone-cold killer down the stretch, and he is the epitome of a closer. Curry at the end of a big game is everything that Kobe Bryant always wanted to be, but without the manufactured intensity. He makes every breathtaking shot that he takes look easy, and it's really something to behold. Even if Lebron were to win his third NBA Championship in his record-breaking sixth Finals appearance in a row against the greatest regular season team in NBA history, Steph Curry would be the face of the NBA.
But that doesn't mean there aren't still great comparisons to be made between the two superstars, my favorite of which is the Google autocomplete battle. There is nothing better than typing something into your Google search bar and having some bizarre or hilarious suggestion pop up.
For example, if I were to Google search "why is there a leap day in the calendar," I would stumble across the autocomplete search term of "why is there fuzz on a tennis ball." That is a question I never thought to ask and truly don't care to have answered, which makes it all the more amusing. And for sports fans, there is nothing more reassuring than realizing just how weird and dumb other sports fans are; courtesy of Google.
So in the spirit of spurring on a debate with actual merit, I hereby commence the First Annual Lebron James vs. Steph Curry Google Autocomplete Battle.
"Steph is dope" for the win. I dare anyone to say that they wouldn't consider their life a marvelous success if their name was followed by "is dope" in a Google autocomplete menu. It's hard to please the internet, so if it loves you that much, you're nailing life. Nailing it.
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever stop embracing the debate about how old Lebron James actually is. There is not an ounce of sarcasm in my belief that Lebron could be 25 or 40 and neither number would surprise me. If you told me he was 14 when he entered the league, I'd buy it. If you told me he was 28 when he entered the league, I'd also go with that. He and his hairline are one of the greatest genetic mysteries in sports.
Is Lebron James still alive? Who is Googling that? I really hope it's people in China and North Korea who are visiting countries where the internet is unrestricted and they are just catching up on world events. I envision people just sitting in a cafe somewhere in Europe, frantically making sure that Lebron James is still alive and downloading as many Miley Cyrus songs as they can fit on their iPhones.
Also, this is the third reference to Steph Curry being not human or a robot. I'm starting to think that people actually believe that he's a cyborg. In fact I'm pretty sure that's my official stance.
So this one threw me for a loop because I had no idea that Google autocomplete could actually answer a question right there in the drop down menu. Now that is dope. There are a lot of familial inquiries here which have me confused because I can't think of two athletes whose families are more part of their public life than these two guys. Still, my favorite by far is the fact that people think Lebron James actually drives a Kia. I don't think Lebron James can even physically fit himself inside of a Kia.
Can Steph Curry play defense.... hahahahah #burn. Also, someone please tell me that Lebron can play the violin and that it is a normal-sized violin so it actually looks super tiny in his massive hands. That is a Saturday Night Live sketch in the making. HEY LORNE! Hire me.
How on God's beautiful green earth would Lebron and Jay Z be related? I know that there are some wild celebrity family connections out there, but if Lebron and Jay Z were related, we'd know about it. Like, it would be a topic of discussion every single day. Every day I'd go to Starbucks and when the barista asked me for my name I'd just say "I don't know but Lebron and Jay Z are related so what does it matter" and then walk away.
After careful consideration and weighing all the factors, I can officially declare that Lebron James is the winner of the First Annual Google Autocomplete Battle. Steph Curry may be the face of the NBA now, but Lebron clearly still has all of the mystique. And for that, he and his hairline should be proud.
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