The Rockets New Super Ugly Alternate Jerseys Even Make The Players Sad
Tanya Ray Fox 10:25 pm, September 15th, 2015
Every new jersey in 2015 seems to be uglier than the last, and the new Houston Rockets alternate uniforms have set a new standard for unsightly sportswear designs. Yet before we go any further, let's allow Rockets players Sam Dekker, Dwight Howard and Donatas Motiejunas to express how they feel about their fresh new duds.
I've spent ten to fifteen minutes staring at that picture trying to figure out who looks more miserable and it's a tough call. In the end though, it has to be Howard. The Rockets photo shoot crew got the sleeve assignment completely ass-backwards.
Howard has arguably the largest shoulders in all of professional American athletics, and yet they continue to force him into those stupid sleeved jerseys. He looks like an over-sized middle-schooler whose mom shrunk his jersey in the washing machine right before the game and forced him to wear it because she's not about to pay for another one.
Meanwhile Dekker is over there in the sleeveless showing off the arms of a principal dancer in "Swan Lake". This photo is wrong already and I haven't even gotten to the design yet.
To be fair, the Rockets don't have the coolest or most inventive colors to begin with and their logo resembles something you'd see on an ad for a haunted Halloween hayride. So there's not a lot to work with there. Even still, there's no excuse to roll out something that looks like the uniform of a McDonald's employee. There are plenty of other ways to use red and mustard on a jersey. You have to break it up a little.
Also, seriously with the Clutch City? That re-brand would be great if they weren't twenty years removed from the roster that actually earned that nickname. That would be like the Atlanta Braves calling themselves Clutch City. Doesn't really work, right?
Obviously jerseys are just jerseys and if the Rockets go deep into the playoffs this year then that's all that matters. Every outfit feels great when you're winning, and hopefully that's exactly what the Rockets do next season; if only to put a smile back on those joyless faces.
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