What Happened Last Night: Nothing

  • Glenn Davis

Fine. It finally happened. I know, I know, I usually say “Missed last night’s sports action?” at the beginning of these posts, and then shame you by listing all the big stuff you missed. Well, today I got nothing. Are you happy? Do you want me to say it as plainly as possible? Here we go:

If you didn’t watch sports last night, you didn’t miss a damn thing.

There. There it is. You heard it from me. The World Series starts tonight (8 p.m. on Fox. There’s your TV info). The NBA regular season hasn’t started yet, We’re in our midweek football lull. The NHL is still locked out. There were some Champions League games yesterday, but they didn’t happen at night (not on this side of the Atlantic, at least). So no, if you went out and ignored the sports scene, you’re still good to go without me. YOU WIN. Do you have to rub it in? Yes, you say? Well, you might come to regret it, because now I’m gonna talk about…

Preseason NBA action.

Oh, I’m going there. How’s Suns-Warriors with Stephen Curry sitting out grab you? Thought so. Thunder-Bulls not only with no D-Rose, but no Durant or Westbrook? Scintillating. Oh, the Pacers beat the Cavs by 18, so those teams appear to both be in midseason form. Oh, and Heat-Bobcats, which made up for the intrigue factor of the Heat by also featuring the Bobcats. LeBron got a technical for no reason and scored 10 points, but shot 2-for-8 from the field. Man, is he bad at basketball.

There was a football game last night.

Arkansas State took on Louisiana-Lafayette in about the most non-FBS sounding FBS matchup possible. They’re not bad teams, though, and they piled up nearly 1,000 yards of combined offense in Arkansas State won 50-27 win, so there was no shortage of action. Still, though: Sun Belt game. Unless you’re a fan of either program, you can only get so excited.

Self-serving update.

Team SportsGrid recorded its latest podcast last evening, as former intern Matt Rudnitsky filled in ably on night posting duty. Look for the podcast sometime later today. One thing I want to talk about, though, because again, it’s not like there are any sport to talk about: at one point last night, I let it slip to SportsGrid editor in chief Dan Fogarty and associate editor Dylan Murphy that my birthday was this past Friday. Now, I didn’t mention this on Friday because… well, let’s let Ron explain it:

In truth, I’m less opposed to birthday celebrations than Ron is, but I’m adamantly against going out of your way to mention or otherwise make a big deal out of the fact that it’s your birthday. You want me to just tell you it’s my birthday for no reason? Do you want me to ask a goddamn celebrity for a retweet while I’m at it? It’s a slightly less arbitrary marker of the passage of time than other markers of time – not to mention, your birthday really doesn’t mark you doing anything. You might as well just say, “Congrats, parents: you sexed X number of years and approximately nine months ago. HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU GOT.”

And that brings up another point: we all know how humans get made. But we don’t really think about it much in our own cases, because usually, the idea of our parents having sex freaks and/or grosses us out. But it’s the whole reason you exist! Tell the majority of people to imagine what is essentially their origin story, and they will probably be disgusted. I’m not sure what it all means, but it’s something to think about. The point here, though, is now Dylan has it in his mind that he’s gonna do something for my belated birthday in the office, and I am terrified. This is exactly what I didn’t want. Anyway, back to trying to scrounge up something sports-related…

Changes to the NBA All-Star ballot.

Seriously? That’s news this morning? Clearly all sports have just given up, so I will too.

Barren land photo via Shutterstock, by Galyna Andrushko; Heat photo via Getty, by Kevin C. Cox