Why The Hell Are Nine NBA Players In This Expendables Parody Trailer?

  • Jake O'Donnell

What do Dwight Howard, Amar’e Stoudemire, Demarcus Cousins, Deandre Jordan, Iman Shumpert, Chandler Parsons, Corey Brewer, Larry Sanders, and Courtney Lee have in common? Give up? The answer is that they’re all terrible, terrible actors. Also, they share the same overly ambitious sports agency — Relativity media — who thought it’d be funny to put all nine of these guys in an Expendables/Avengers parody, titled “The Relativity Avengerables.” Not surprisingly, Dwight Howard is best of the bunch. Also not surprisingly, DeMarcus Cousins seems like he doesn’t want to be there.

The logic behind such a move is pretty simple: Make clients feel cool (in this case, NBA players who would otherwise never get cameos in actual movies) and showcase their acting skills in the event some of them actually have some chops — then wait until this happens:

Relativity Media Client: “Hey, what does your agent do for you? Mine put me in a cool movie with all my friends where I got to hold a gun…”

Client of Agency X: “WTF?!?! Mine just invites me to lunch and got me a contract with the Milwaukee Bucks.”

Speaking of Bucks, our favorite character has got to be Larry Sanders’s “Nerdy Techie Guy,” who’s Nana interrupts him to tell him about Matlock. Also, Amar’e as the President is a pretty funny concept.