Coach K Can’t Understand NBA Teams Tanking, Because America

  • Eric Goldschein

coach kAfter a fantastic night of college basketball featuring not only four of the five top teams in the country but as many as eight first-round draft picks, the thought process of every basketball fan was summed up in this grammatically flawed but otherwise great tweet from LeBron James:

Word. Julius Randle (Kentucky) looked great. Andrew Wiggins (Kansas) looked like the freakishly athletic beast we knew he’d be. And Jabari Parker (Duke) looked NBA-ready. It’s no wonder that tanking has been a hot topic in the NBA this year — the draft class will be loaded.

But if you ask Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski, he doesn’t know how NBA teams do it. Tank, that is (via CBS Sports):

“If that is happening, shame on whoever is doing it. … As an American I wouldn’t like to think that an American team would [ever] want to lose or create situations where you would want to lose,” he said. “I can’t even fathom — I can’t go there. I can’t believe that that would happen. Maybe I’m naïve and going to read a fairytale after this.”

Oh, but French pro teams should go for it? Should Russian leagues give their championship to the teams with the most losses? We all know how China feels about tanks — are their teams excused?

Honestly, I’m not sure why the “America” card was pulled here. Coach K is a patriotic guy — not to mention a fantastic Team USA coach — but it’s not as though “trying” and “not losing” are uniquely American traits, no matter what the guy living in a van down by the river might tell you. Maybe as a highly competitive person accustomed to winning, Coach K can’t fathom losing on purpose — being born in the United States is just details.

So here’s a question, Coach K: Is not letting the people who do most of the work (the players) get a cut of their own (astronomical) earnings American too? And don’t give me that “we pay for their education” line, unless you want to sound like a socialist. You’re not a socialist, are you? Because as an American, fuck socialism, because America.

Photo via Getty