Condoms Were Not The Most Objectionable Thing On Ludacris’ UGA Rider
Hey everybody, breaking news: adults drink and have sex! Oh, you already knew that? Well it seems to be a point of contention for some people at the University of Georgia, who are up in arms after it was revealed that rapper Ludacris was paid $65,000 for a 13-minute set on April 16. It's not the incredibly exorbitant price that really had people ticked though, but rather the fact that Luda's lengthy rider included condoms and liquor.
That's right, my friends. Condoms and liquor...ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS. Gasp! How could they?!
Apparently the outrage was so palpable that athletic director Greg McGarity felt the need to issue a vague apology to the UGA board of directors on Thursday afternoon, after the details of the school's entertainment agreement were revealed to the media.
“I do want to take this opportunity to apologize to our board for mistakes we made with certain aspects of the details of an entertainment agreement,” McGarity said. “Few things in my professional life have bothered me more than this situation. There are no reruns in life so we need to turn the page, learn from our mistakes and do everything we can to make sure errors of this nature do not reoccur.”
Well that seems a little dramatic. Not to downplay the role that alcohol plays in health and safety issues on college campuses, but supplying a 38-year-old man's dressing room with alcohol can't possibly be the worst thing the athletics department for an elite NCAA program has had to deal with. Baylor is currently handling the fallout of having been involved in a deeply-rooted and disturbing cover-up of violent rape culture on their campus. It's hard for me to believe that condoms and vodka are really the largest problems at a university the size of Georgia.
According to the Athens Banner-Herald, after the quarterly meeting, UGA president Jere Morehead said he “certainly appreciated that the athletic department took responsibility for some of the terms in that contract."
"Obviously in retrospect they should have done a more thorough job of reviewing all of the riders and removing those that were objectionable," continued Morehead. "I appreciate that he’s accepted that that’s what athletics should have done and what it will do moving forward.”
So let's take a look at this rider.
First of all, this guy performed for 13 minutes. The fact that he would feel entitled to any of this for merely doing his job, let alone for just four songs, is horrifying. Especially considering he's a gajillionaire.
But alas, that's the industry. So we must move on. Bearing in mind that riders of this magnitude are hardly the exception to the rule, the condoms and alcohol are a few of the least offensive things on there. Let me go through a few items that have left me far more perplexed.
1. 1 loaf of bread (whole grain with the most amount of grains)
First of all, I'm very suspicious of any full-grown adult whose meal of choice is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That's utterly absurd. More importantly though is the "most amount of grains" mandate. How is some poor schlep at the University of Georgia supposed to find the bread with the "most amount of grains" without knowing what that number even is? Is there a documented source of the most grains you can fit into one loaf of bread? There are so many other specific brands listed on this rider, I just don't understand why a brand of bread was not provided. That's the first item on the list and it's total bullshit.
2. Candies (assorted i.e.: snickers, m&ms, jolly ranchers etc)
Hey guy, thanks for describing what "candies" are. Essentially there are no parameters here, it just has to be something you could find at a CVS. For a guy who wants all the grains in his bread, Ludacris is oddly non-specific with his candy preferences. I personally find the leap from Jolly Ranchers to say, a Charleston Chew, to be fairly significant. But according to this rider, anything goes when it comes to candy. To be honest, it's a bit unnerving.
3. 1 Crest Spin rechargeable toothbrush
Just no. Not only does Ludacris not have his own toothbrush, but now he wants them to buy him a rechargeable one? FOR WHAT?! Does he plan on bringing it with him? If so, is it because he lost his own and refuses to buy another one for himself? This is insane. Again...THIRTEEN MINUTES. Oh and I'm sorry, does that say a "bottle" of Crest toothpaste? It's a tube. A tube of toothpaste. My god.
4. 2 Jo Malone Candles (Gardenia scent)
Oh candles! That makes sense. That's a fairly inexpensive request and it's totally reasonable to want to have a good ambiance before you perfo...I'm sorry, come again? How much do those candles cost?
Oh yes, one Jo Malone home candle is $65 a pop; and the luxury candles can cost up to $455 each. So on the low end, Luda wanted them to spend $130 on two candles. And oh by the way, the Vintage Gardenia scent is completely sold out everywhere. I looked. It's also even more perplexing when you consider that he wants to pair it with the cheapest incense you can buy.
5. 2 packs of AA and 2 packs of AAA batteries
WHY? Are you powering up one of those cheap plastic drones that you can buy at Home Depot? Are you planning on replacing all the old batteries in every television remote on campus? I need to know why.
6. 12 Assorted Minute Maid juice boxes
Right. Because apparently the vodka, tequila, red wine, white wine, coconut water, regular water, Snapple, Gatorade, cognac, green tea, orange juice, cranberry juice and V8 juice just wasn't quite enough to wash down that sophisticated meal of PB&J, random-ass candies and fruit roll ups.
Honestly, I find the condoms to be the least objectionable part of this entire rider. In fact, they shouldn't be an issue at all. People have sex. Condoms make that sex safer. They aren't taboo. They are important.
Now please excuse me while I go find someone to iron those six white Hanes t-shirts.
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