One College Football Coach All But Told Reporters He Was Pooping When the Earthquake Hit Yesterday
East Coasters all have their stories of where they were when yesterday's Minor Earth-Rumblingpocalypse 2K11 hit, some a bit more intense than others. Rutgers football coach Greg Schiano's story, it's safe to say, falls on the lower end of that intensity spectrum. Talking to reporters yesterday, the earthquake came up, because of course it did. Schiano was asked where he was at the time. He didn't quite give that up, but as the Star-Ledger's (N.J.) Tom Luicci put it, "it wasn’t difficult to read between the lines":
"You don’t want to know. Let’s just say it was me and me."
"Me and me." There are only a couple things we could imagine that meaning...and we're pretty certain we can rule out one of them. So that leaves pooping. Schiano then rightly added an earthquake-pooping death would be a "hell of a way to go" (well, according to Luicci; fellow Ledger reporter Dave Hutchinson said Schiano said "heck" rather than "hell," which, having grown acquainted with Schiano's speaking style over the last decade, strikes us as more believable, but hey, the guy was already talking about pooping, so all bets are off at that point).
If you'll notice when you click Luicci's story, some commenters ripped him, saying a report prominently involving Schiano using the bathroom was hardly newsworthy. Those people are wrong. For one thing, it's hilarious. For another, the fact that Greg Schiano said something interesting to reporters is news in itself. Trust us - after several years of following his and his team's exploits rather obsessively, one thing that's clear: Schiano is pure vanilla with media members. "The guys are working hard, but we're not where we need to be," "He's a special player/special young man," "We're gonna do everything we can to be the best we can be and see where that puts us" - that kind of stuff. Earthquake-pooping is a radical departure from the norm.
Anyway, despite Schiano's initial worries ("I thought I was going down"), he was, of course, fine. And so was everyone and everything else:
From all indications, Schiano said there was no noticeable damage around the Hale Center [where Rutgers' football offices are located].
We assume that's a reference to the earthquake.
Be the first to know
Want FREE Fantasy and Gaming Advice and Savings Delivered to your Inbox? Sign up for our Newsletter.