If You Want To Play Sports And Smoke Weed, Go To An SEC School

  • Dylan Murphy

Through extensive research, the AP discovered that SEC schools don’t care if athletes smoke weed. Through having a beating heart, going to college and watching college football, Americans had already arrived at a similar conclusion and continue not to care about this issue whatsoever. But we still applaud the AP for officially uncovering what we already knew to be true.

Via the AP:

“Players testing positive for marijuana in the mighty Southeastern Conference do not face the one-year suspension that comes from getting busted by the NCAA.

In the most successful league of the BCS-era, players routinely get third, fourth and even fifth chances before they’re booted from the team; failed drug tests administered by the NCAA result in the automatic suspension.”

But here’s the best part, courtesy the University of Mississippi:

“Ole Miss athletic director Ross Bjork, who was hired in March, is hoping to strengthen his school’s policy by the middle of the summer. Currently, a second positive test at Mississippi might simply mean the loss of free tickets for family and/or community service.”

Devastating. Not that this is news or anything, but I always assumed that officially, SEC schools cared about punishing students for drug use, while unofficially, they couldn’t care less. Turns out they don’t give a shit officially either.

[AP, via ESPN]