Power Ranking The Most Notorious Shellfish Incidents In Media History (UPDATED)

  • Rick Chandler

As you surely know if you have Google’s Shellfish Crime App, Florida State’s Jameis Winston was cited for allegedly stealing crab legs (and crawfish) from a Tallahassee grocery store on Tuesday. The Heisman Trophy winner and baseball pitcher was suspended from the baseball team today. Look, if you can’t laugh at a shithead (my opinion), what can you do? I’m certainly not going to waste my time being angry. CNN:

Winston, only the second freshman to win college football’s most coveted award, allegedly walked into a Publix near the FSU campus Tuesday night, ordered about $32 worth of crab legs and crawfish, and walked out of the store without paying, sheriff’s Maj. Michael Wood told reporters.

After deputies contacted him about three hours later, Winston told them that he forgot to pay, Wood said.

This may be my favorite crime of the week … but when ranking notorious shellfish incidents in popular media, it does not finish first. Not even close.

As we are big fans of crab, lobster, shrimp and other edible crustaceans, we of course had some rankings ready. Slap on a lobster bib and dig in, below, for the other greatest shellfish-related stories of recent times.