Sad Nightmare Clown: Utah Uses This Weird Video To Dissuade Student-Athletes From Accepting Improper Benefits

  • Dan Fogarty

Earlier today, the University of Utah’s Compliance Office tweeted out the video you see here. If they do indeed show this to their student-athletes as a means of keeping them from accepting cash and improper benefits, we hope it’s with a heavy dose of self-awareness. Because this video is weird.

In it, a “sad clown” tells the tale of when he had it all. You see, he was a student-athlete who had lots of friends, was taken care of, and got to play the sport he loves, all while getting a free education. But then, gasp, he started accepting discounts at restaurants and clothing stores, and before he knew it, he was stuffing his pockets with cash from boosters. With his scholarship soon taken away, he was forced to attend clown college with all the other clowns.

So. I have a bunch of questions. Who would give a clown a full scholarship? He’s a clown. Clowns don’t play sports. Also: why does he not have any friends anymore? Did they all leave him once he got kicked out of school. Those friends sound like they suck, so get better friends, clown. Lastly: I know no one likes a sad clown, but aren’t their other sad clowns he could hang out with? He goes to Clown College, after all. He can’t be the only sad clown there. College is like, the number one place to be depressed. I bet there’s a whole dorm full of melancholy clowns there.

Anyway: you are a quirky bunch, Utah Office of Compliance. A quirky bunch of weirdos.