10 Things You Can Watch On TV Instead Of The Pro Bowl
The quality of the Pro Bowl over the last decade has declined so dramatically that many NFL fans have begun intentionally avoiding it at all costs. The league did away with the much more official AFC vs. NFC format a few years ago, in favor of electing former stars to act as "team captains" of sorts, who inevitably build the teams that the NFL wants. This year team-choosers are two people you just don't see enough of these days: Jerry Rice and Michael Irvin!
In some ways, having the Pro Bowl played prior to the Super Bowl (so that no one on the two best teams in the league is available to play in the game) and following a totally different team format is a smart move. The game was never up to par as far as quality of play, so why not turn it into a glorified TV special about good football players who didn't make it to the Super Bowl?
Well here's why not: because the NFL is the most profitable sports league in the world and fans are chomping at the bit for as much good, meaningful football as they can possibly consume. It's mind boggling that the Pro Bowl has become the laughing stock of All-Star games considering the talent pool that they are chosen from. Even the crappier players that make the roster are better athletes than most kids we watch play college football every Saturday for three months. And instead of putting their thick skulls together to find a way to make the game enjoyable, entertaining and substantial in any way, they give us a few hours of regular season stats and highlights and some arena ball.
Just for reference, here are the starting rosters for the 2016 Pro Bowl:
TEAM IRVIN OFFENSE
TEAM RICE DEFENSE
TEAM RICE OFFENSE
TEAM IRVIN DEFENSE
It's a damn shame that the NHL All-Star game, which will be played a few hours before the Pro Bowl, will be largely overlooked in favor of this clown show. So if you want to honor good football by not watching great football players play bad football, here are 10 other things on television at 7pm ET/4pm PT that I recommend instead.
1) GREASE: Live (Fox) 7pm
There's legitimately no bad time to sing along to Grease classics. Especially when Vanessa Hudgens is involved.
2) Armageddon (AMC) 6pm
I just recently caught the second half of this movie on TV, and I have to say, I had forgotten how absolutely epic it actually is. Steve Buscemi and Bruce Willis are definitely a better combo than Eli Manning and John Kuhn.
3) Bar Rescue (Spike)
Episodes: Bottomless Pits (7pm) Loose Lips Loose Tips (8pm)
It may make you rethink ever going to another hole-in-the-wall again, but at least you won't have to watch Richard Sherman pretend like he doesn't really want to pound Odell Beckham Jr. into oblivion.
4) STP Live Chicago at 7pm / Pearl Jam Twenty at 8pm (VH1 Classic)
Scott Weiland and Mother Love Bone > Khalil Mac and Vontae Davis
5) Reba Reruns (TVLand)
Reba is easily the best sitcom of the 2000's. If you don't know that then it's because you've never seen it. And if that's the case, you should start tonight.
6) Lead With Your Heart (Hallmark Channel) 7pm
TV movie description: "When their parents contemplate splitting up, two teens hatch a scheme to make them realize how much they need each other."
Sounds like a terribly acted made-for-TV version of The Parent Trap. #IntoIt
7) Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern (Travel Channel) 7pm
Episode: Faroe Islands: Spoiled Sheep & Boiled Birds
According to the description, this episode will include Giant horse mussels, fermented sheep head, blood-filled sheep stomach and seagulls. STRAIGHT UP SEAGULLS. How are you not watching this?
8) The Lincoln Layer (POP) 7:30pm
This is the movie that launched Matthew McConaughey into serious acting, allowing him to eventually win an Academy Award for Best Actor over Leonardo DiCaprio...who still has never won. That's something that we as a society need to celebrate as often as possible.
9) Republican Presidential Debate rerun (Fox Business) 7pm
If you haven't seen this debate in which Marco Rubio clearly did cocaine backstage while Ben Carson definitely smoked weed laced with Vicodin, you've missed out.
9) Steve Austin's Broken Skull Challenge (CMT) 7pm
Episodes: Flipping Out (7pm) A Frog's Hair Away (8pm)
I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what this show is about and had never even heard of it today. Despite all of that, I would watch it with no questions asked because it sounds absolutely incredible.
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