We’ve all experienced an instance where our team gets screwed over by some seemingly arbitrary rule that was made up by some bureaucrat that tried to make life easy and objective for the officials and sports’ governing bodies. Eff that, I say.
Today, we change things. Not for real, though, because let’s be honest, these guys do NOT care about what fans say. Strangely, the only time they care is when people that are likely NOT fans get involved, like the National Organization for Women, etc.
13 Sports Rules We Should Change
So here’s a baker’s dozen set of rules we should change in several different sports.
1. Suspending a Starting Pitcher For 6 Games
WTF? So he gets his next start bumped a day or so and the rotation resets? Big deal. Just bench him for two starts, and the four starting pitchers that started the four games previous to him have to start two games each before he’s allowed back. I have spoken.
2. The Possession Arrow in College Basketball
This rule gets the most blank looks from other fans when I gripe about it. They’re indifferent. Not me! Make it a jumpball, like the NBA, and let’s move on already. Why are we looking at a dumb box to tell us who should get the ball?
3. No More “Make It, Take It” in Pickup Basketball Games
This was obviously a rule that some big brother started while playing basketball ball with his little brother, and it just stuck. How in the world does this make sense to anyone else in the gaming world? You take turns, dammit!
4. Penalties for Excessive Celebrations
Who cares? Let ‘em act a fool! If they do something bad (throat-slit gesture, etc.), then hit ‘em for a penalty. But let the celebrations happen.
5. Batters Calling Timeout
Why do pitchers get balks if they stop, but batters can stop and start as much as the ump allows? Screw that – once you step in the batter’s box and the ump gives the “pitch” signal, it’s on!
6. NFL Injuries in Final 2 Minutes With No Timeouts
This screwed me this past weekend. The Bucs were driving with eight seconds to go, down by two points against St. Louis, and Josh McCown hit rookie Mike Evans for 29 yards to the Rams’ 32-yard line. But Evans came up hurt, and since the Bucs didn’t have any timeouts left, the ruling is that 10 seconds get rolled off the clock. Since there were only eight seconds left, it meant the game was over. It’s meant to deter players from faking injuries to stop the clock.
Can you imagine paying $100 for a ticket and THAT’s how the game ends? With a ref saying, “Well, the game’s over now even though there was some time left. We’re just calling it.” The penalty should be a 50-yard penalty, so at least we get a shot at seeing a Hail Mary to end the game.
7. Pink Stuff During “Breast Cancer Awareness” Month
I read earlier today that it sounds like the NFL is dialing this back a little bit this year. Good. Enough already. Who doesn’t know about breast cancer in the 2010s!?! I don’t know anyone that’s “for it.” Pretty much everyone hates it, so why are we forced to deal with pink socks and gloves and flags and towels? How about everyone wearing brown in October for Prostate Cancer Awareness instead? After all, there are a billion more men watching NFL games that likely need to get checked out.
- Prostate cancer affects 1 in 7 men (1 in 8 women get breast cancer).
- 3 million men are living with prostate cancer right now.
- A man is 35-percent more likely to develop prostate cancer than a woman is to be diagnosed with breast cancer.
I say it’s time for a brown out!
8. NHL Ice Rinks Are All the Same Size
Screw that. It used to be that rinks could be different sizes and management would build their teams accordingly. For instance, the Blackhawks used to have a tiny hockey rink, and their big players would crush anybody trying to skate through. But in other rinks (Detroit’s Olympia Stadium), they had big, wide open rinks, where fast skaters could really take advantage of that open space.
Can you imagine if MLB told all the stadiums they have to be the same size!?! People would go nuts!
9. Coaches Can Ice a Kicker By Calling a Timeout
If the kicking team has any timeouts left as their kicker goes out to kick, they should be able to negate any timeout from the opposing head coaches to ice their kickers. Ice the coach, that’s what I say!
10. Smoking Pot Counts as Drug Abuse
Lighten up … and then light up!
At the very least, players of all sports should be allowed to smoke pot when they play in Colorado or Washington, where it’s legal to buy pot.
11. Extra Time in Soccer
Nope. Cut it out. Put a clock on this game and when injuries occur, stop the clock. When they get off the field, start the clock again. Can you imagine an NFL game where the ref keeps a watch in his pocket to decide when the game ends?
12. Offsides in Hockey
This one everyone’s always bitching about. I get that if there wasn’t icing, players could hang back and “cherry pick,” by getting long passes and beating the goalie one-on-one. So what? That might be exciting. OK, maybe we make it so you can only cherry pick when you’re down by two goals.
13. Free Throws
I think it would be cool if a team is allowed to attempt free throws from the top of the key. Those will be two-point free throws, but they have to make BOTH of them to get the points. Plus, the crazy rebounds will surely make the last few minutes much more exciting.
Got any sports rules you’d like to change? Think some of mine are ridiculous and stupid and you think I’m a dummy? Well, get in line!