7 Shitty Things That Happened, Or Didn’t Happen, In Fantasy Football: Week 3
There are two truths in fantasy football: Shitty things are going to happen to you, and no one except you is going to care about them. Ever try complaining to your friends about some completely fluky turn of events that turned your two point win into a half point loss? They’ll either tell you a) they don’t care about your fake football league or b) join the club — everyone gets screwed, all the time.
That’s what this is for: We're compiling shitty things that happened in fantasy each week — things that may have cost you a victory that no one else wants to complain about, because it probably helped them win. Let me know what shitty things happened to you in the comments, or on Twitter with the hashtag: #IHateFantasy (the irony being, of course, that we love it and will do it all again next week).
Another week, another series of unfortunate events that prevented you from proclaiming yourself "better" than your friends at fantasy football. I mean, I won this week, but I very easily could not have. Here's our rundown for Week 3:
1. The Brandon Marshall situation.
Dibs on that for a band name. Now, after Marshall was listed as questionable (and at one point, doubtful) for Week 2 and went on to score three touchdowns, there was no way you kept him out of your lineup this week. You were rewarded with a sparkling one catch for six yard performance, as the Jets forced Jay Cutler to look elsewhere (and he did, throwing two TDs to Martellus Bennett). A re-aggravated ankle injury didn't help things.
2. The Houston defense: steamrolled by the Giants?
Of all the defensive matchups this week, Houston's looked the most enticing. As Matthew Berry put it in his Love/Hate column, "Happiness is your defense against Eli Manning." Except the Giants put up 30 points, with Manning throwing for two TDs and Rashad Jennings gashing Houston for a career high 176 rushing yards. Whoops.
3. Speaking of which, hey Houston, please stop running Arian Foster into the ground.
Foster was held out of the Texans-Giants game, because even though he had a hamstring issue in the preseason, Houston gave him a league-high 55 carries through the first two weeks. GOOD CALL. Now the hamstring is re-aggravated and a theoretically top-10 RB could miss extended time. Good thing Alfred Blue is
so good a person you can add.
4. The Carolina defense notched a healthy ZERO points.
Considered a top-five option by ESPN, Carolina got DESTROYED by Pittsburgh on Sunday night. The one sack was nice, but they gave up 37 points, which in most leagues resulted in zero points. Fun.
5. RIP Dennis Pitta.
You were a good man, Dennis Pitta, and you left the Ravens and fantasy owners too soon. Considering that tight end is already one of the thinnest positions in football, Pitta's season-ending (and perhaps career-ending?) hip injury is a killer. He left Week 3 after recording three catches for 12 yards.
6. Kirk Cousins probably blew up your bench.
Started in just 24 percent of Yahoo leagues (and for good reason -- he's a backup quarterback with a ton of questions surrounding him), Cousins blew the roof off his fantasy expectations, throwing four touchdowns and over 400 yards in a loss to the Eagles. Did you start Peyton Manning, or Matthew Stafford, or Aaron Rodgers ahead of him? BOY YOU'RE SO DUMB HOW COULD YOU DO THAT.
7. Wes Welker was underwhelming in his debut.
Did you draft and stash Welker despite his concussion issues and the whole "suspended for drugs" thing? In his return to the field, Welker posted a pedestrian six catches for 60 yards, while Emmanuel Sanders went nuts. It's still too early to write Welker off as a WR3 or worse, but in an offense still packed with weapons, he's looking like the least viable option.
BONUS SHITTY THINGS:
BRUH MARSHALL SCORES & A FLAG TAKES IT BACK #ihatefantasy
— Maher (@LilMaccc) September 23, 2014
So between megatron, demaryius, AJ, andre, and marshall I got a combined 25 points.. Julio jones has 28... #ihatefantasy
— Post (@tpostnation) September 23, 2014
Photo via Getty
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