Adrian Peterson Is The Real Father Of Our Country
Just because being suspended indefinitely from the NFL for allegedly beating your son isn't enough, the Star Tribune put together a whole dossier on Adrian Peterson and his unheroic activity, and it's not pretty.
Supermarket missed an Adrian Peterson Wheaties box. I don't feel "Hungry for more". pic.twitter.com/mG5XrBUtsa
— Anthony Eboly (@AnthonyBialy) October 3, 2014
According to the report Peterson has fathered six children by six women that live in three differently states (MN, GA, TX). Apparently while at the University of Oklahoma, the Sooners never played the Trojans (or at least he's never heard of them). He was cited for driving 109 mph in a 55 mph zone. His charity, Adrian Peterson's All Day Foundation, has been accused of falsifying records. But perhaps the craziest situation was one involving A.D., his brother, another male relative and four "ladies."
— Craig Wineman (@craigwineman) September 28, 2014
The seven of them got together in a hotel room in Eden Prairie, and well, did the things that seven people might do in Eden Prairie. In front of each other. Many, many times. Did I mention there was drinking and A.D.'s brother was a minor? Also one woman got jealous watching A.D. penetrate the end zone with one of the other women, so she filed a rape complaint the next day. But the best part of all this? The room was paid for with a credit card from A.D.'s charity.
Yoooo Adrian Peterson using charity money for orgys?? Lmao. NFL is having the best. Year. Ever.
— Luca Brasi (@IAMKRIS24) October 6, 2014
The bottom line is Peterson will likely not be playing this year, but if he does play again, there's a 12.5% chance it will be in one of his kids' home states.
David Young was a columnist for Sports Illustrated and ESPN, and is now one for SportsGrid.com. Follow him on Twitter @turkeysflying.
Be the first to know
Want FREE Fantasy and Gaming Advice and Savings Delivered to your Inbox? Sign up for our Newsletter.