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Andy Reid Will Not Rest Until He Is Almost Coaching Every Team In Football

  • Glenn Davis

When Andy Reid got fired by the Eagles, everyone knew it wouldn’t be long before he had another head coaching job. For as much heat as the guy’s taken and as bad as the Eagles were this year, he posted a 130-93-1 record, made the playoffs nine times, and knew how to work with quarterbacks. In a league where consistent success is rare, and any success at all is more dependent on good quarterback play than ever, Reid was going to get a job whenever he wanted one.

And it appeared he’d gotten that job on Monday, as reports emerged that Reid was on the verge of becoming the Arizona Cardinals’ head coach. It made sense – no team in the NFL could use a quarterback guru more than the Cards. The deal wasn’t official yet, but it sounded like just a matter of time.

Ah, but the NFL is nothing if not a place where circumstances change quickly, and as of this moment, ESPN’s Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter are reporting that Reid is indeed closing in on a head coaching job… the one in Kansas City:

So the deal isn’t official yet, but it sounds like just a matter of time. And hey, it makes sense – if any team in the NFL could use someone whose specialty is working with quarterbacks, it’s the Chiefs. (Hey, sound familiar?) But don’t go around welcoming your new overlord just yet, Chiefs fans:

Wait, the Chargers too? We all knew Reid would get a job when he wanted one, but three? He’s pretty much coaching both the Cardinals and Chiefs at this point – what’s one more team? It’ll be convenient – the Chargers play the Chiefs twice a year, so in those games Reid will just have to run to the sideline of whatever team’s on offense so he can call the plays. Fitting in time for coaching the Cards too could be a challenge, unless Reid’s capable of cloning himself, or just duplicating himself with a cardboard box in the style of Calvin.

And if Reid can do that, what’s to stop him from taking every head coaching job available, every year… until Andy Reid is coaching every team in football? Just think, every team will be competitive and get better-than-expected play from their quarterback, but will also infuriate their fans with their management of the closing minutes of games. It’s a brave new NFL world we’re on the verge of witnessing. Are you ready?

But if Reid doesn’t have access to the latest in cloning technology, he should just interview for every available head coaching job this season and leak to reporters that he’s close to accepting every one of them, before finally deciding on one. Fresh off being fired, you’re a wanted man, Andy: have some fun with it. And again, maybe he really will wind up with the Chiefs, but we’ll believe it when we see it. After all, we remember a few years back, the Chiefs were supposedly on the verge of hiring another guy who’d just been canned elsewhere after a long run and knew what he was doing with quarterbacks. How’d the Mike Shanahan era in Kansas City work out?

Getty photo, by Rob Carr