Kicker Justin Tucker Only Cared That The Ravens Won Because His Fantasy Team Also Won

  • Matt Rudnitsky

Justin Tucker Ravens KickerIn case you missed last night’s Baltimore Ravens win over the Detroit Lions on Monday Night Football, here’s the game recap:

– Both teams sucked.
– The Lions sucked a little harder.
– Calvin Johnson was weirdly bad, and I’m kind of worried.
– Ravens kicker Justin Tucker is god.

But, the selfish bastard didn’t even care that his six field goals gave the Ravens a legit shot at the playoffs; he only cared that he drafted himself on his fantasy team and thus his team, probably, “The Justin ‘Not Chris’ Tuckers LOL.” had a good night as well.

That’s insider trading, where I’m from.

NOTE: I’m obviously joking. His interview was fantastic.

But I’m highly disappointed that the reporter didn’t ask him when he drafted himself, opening up the probability of him saying “first round, baby!” followed by the reporter exposing the fact that he’s almost certainly not still alive in the playoffs.