Carolina Fan Posts Homemade Panthers Rap Anthem (Complete With Panther Noises)
January 21 / Jake O'Donnell / SportsGrid
This guy had to know what he was doing, right? Filming yourself rapping about a football team over a preset beat from a 30-year-old keyboard -- on your front lawn, no less -- is on the short list of "things that will get you internet famous." Alas, here we are, more than a month after Ked Woodley (not kidding, that's his name) posted "Dominate The Foe" to his disappointingly barren YouTube page, watching him excitedly rhyme words that don't really rhyme. Or make sense. Or even have anything to do with the Carolina Panthers...
Wanna holla at you top cats who cheer
You turn us on
Gimme them digits
I'll call you on my phone
Big black cats
Panthers kicking ass
Yep, that's right -- Ked is single and he loves the Panthers.
Listen dude, I'm begging you. Please make more of these dimly lit music videos featuring that "Rrrrrrraarrrr!" noise, of which you totally fucking nailed. Please, Ked -- do it for Cam. Do it for Panther Nation. But most importantly, do it so you can get a "Tosh.0" web redemption. You've certainly got all the intangibles needed to become the next "Chocolate Rain" guy.
I love you, Ked. I mean that.
- "Dominate The Foe" has been professionally remastered to better reflect Ked's vision. Introducing the "Forgot About Ked" remix -- the only song that ever mattered.
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