Chris Christie Wants Johnny Manziel To Stay Away From The Cowboys
There is absolutely no better way to get me to root for a Johnny Manziel-to-the-Cowboys situation than to know that it would enrage Chris Christie.
The Republican presidential hopeful admitted when speaking on The Hugh Hewitt Show on Monday that he is not a fan of the Browns' party boy, who is likely to be looking for a new home in the offseason after new head coach Hue Jackson admitted that they are exploring new options at quarterback..
Christie made it clear that if it were up to him, the trainwreck that is Johnny Manziel wouldn't get anywhere AT&T Stadium unless it's with a different team.
"I’ve got to say, Hugh...I will throw my body in front of the Johnny Manziel train if it heads towards Dallas."
I just know that there's a fat joke primed and ready here but I'm sure Jimmy Fallon will have that covered later on The Tonight Show.
Honestly, it's annoying that Christie has declared himself a member of Cowboys Nation in the first place. Although their comically outdated sense of importance makes them the perfect team for the blustering Christie, who has inexplicably adopted the Cowboys as his team despite the fact that he has lived in New Jersey literally since the day he was born.
Listen, I realize that nobody wants to be a Jets fan but that's a burden that someone has to bear. And that person should definitely be Christie.
The Cowboys are already such an easy organization to root against, sporting an annoying superiority complex despite the fact that they haven't won a Super Bowl since the 1995 season and have won exactly three playoff games in the twenty years since. Seeing Christie in the owners box on gameday only serves to make them more cringeworthy. It's a match made in hell.
Now all they need is the least likeable quarterback in the NFL to join their ranks and they'll complete the trifecta of horrible American stereotypes; greed, gluttony and party bros.
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