Colin Kaepernick’s Birth Mom Needs To Go Hide Under A Rock Until After The Super Bowl

  • Dan Fogarty

Look, Colin Kaepernick’s birth mom: you seem like a nice enough lady.

When I first heard that you were giving interviews in the lead-up to the biggest professional moment of your biological son’s life, I rolled my eyes. Here we go, I thought. Just another birth mom coming out of the woodwork to bask in her biological son’s dual threat quarterbacking glory. Right before the Super Bowl. Ugh, boy.

But then I watched this interview that you gave to Fox31 in Denver, and you came off as genuine. You really are happy for Colin Kaepernick, you really did agonize over having to give him up for adoption, and you really do want him to know that you’re thinking of him. Plus, it’s not like you’re emerging completely out of the blue at the most opportune time imaginable, because you sent him a Myspace message when he enrolled at Nevada. You’ve been profiled by Yahoo before, so it’s not like this is the first time anyone’s ever heard of you, and there’s no real element of surprise here.

But yo. Lady.

You’ve got to stop giving interviews until after the Super Bowl.

Seriously. Your birth son is locked inside a room somewhere in Santa Clara with his crazy head coach, breaking down film of Ed Reed and Bernard Pollard. He doesn’t need your static right now, he needs to be focused on the game tape. Yeah, it’s nice you’re thinking about him, but he needs to be thinking about Ray Lewis and Dannell Ellerbe. Not about you, and your red scarf.

Do you know what’s going to happen when he sits down for Media Day in New Orleans, and reporters start asking him questions? They’re going to ask questions about you. They should be asking questions about Terrell Suggs and Paul Kruger. But they’re going to ask questions about you. And that’s not fair to him. It’s distracting. You’re distracting.

I have no doubt that your intentions are good. But still: you need to go hide somewhere. Seriously. Go hide somewhere until February 4th, the day after the Super Bowl, and then come out and give interviews if you want to. I’m not Colin Kaepernick, I don’t know what your relationship is like with him, and I don’t know how he feels about you, but I’m 99.9% sure that the net effect of your decision to talk to the media right before Super Bowl Week will be negative.

Go away for a little while.