Cowboys Sign High School Math Teacher As Backup Quarterback

  • Rick Chandler

“I want Jon Kitna for Christmas” said no child on Santa’s lap, ever.

After bringing in David Carr, Tyler Thigpen, John Skelton and Caleb Hanie for workouts on Tuesday (according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport), the Dallas Cowboys finally settled on Jon Kitna as their third-string quarterback as they headed into the big playoffs-or-bust showdown with Philadelphia on Sunday.

It was a fun game for about 12 hours, but Jason Garrett soon tired of pretending that Tony Romo might not be shut down for the season due to a herniated disc. Actually the Cowboys haven’t officially ruled out Romo, but ESPN’s Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen report that Romo will not play again this season and needs back surgery.

So the search was on for a No. 2 — Tim Tebow was jumped like a red checker — and the Cowboys brought in 41-year-old Kitna. It makes sense in a weird, Jerry Jones kind of way. Kitna last played for the Cowboys in 2011, which was Garrett’s first full year as head coach. He knows the offense, and most of the personnel. He can provide hos own helmet.

Up until the winter break, Kitna had been teaching math at Lincoln High School in Tacoma, WA, where his son is a sophomore on the football team. Pretty good at it too, according to reports. Now he’ll be backing up Kyle Orton, who presumably will start on Sunday against the Eagles.

Winner of that game, of course, claims the NFC East. Loser misses the playoffs.

How did you spend your Christmas vacation?