CURSED: Drake’s Raptors Get Swept, Continue His Epic Season Of Discontent
2015 has not been kind to Drake (at least in terms of his rooting interests). In fact, it's been a particularly bad year for the nebulous consortium of sports franchises he supports, so much so that you'd start to think he might actually be having a tangible effect on the outcome of important games. Is Drake a curse? Does karma exact its toll on the bandwagons that Drake frequently jumps on? Let's take and see just how much heartbreak karma has gifted the world's top-ranked frontrunner.
WIZARDS SWEEP RAPTORS IN 1ST ROUND
- Bradley Beal outscored Drake's precious Toronto Raptors starting unit through the first 16 minutes of Sunday's Game 4 blowout, sending the Wizards on to the second round and Drake back to where ever he goes to decide which NBA team he'll be jock sniffing next season. This was not lost on the Wizards Twitter account -- or D.C. native Wale -- who also think it's funny to kick Drake when he's down.
— #dcRising (@WashWizards) April 27, 2015
— Wale Folarin (@Wale) April 27, 2015
JOHNNY MANZIEL'S 2014-15
- Drake literally has a song about Johnny Manziel called "Draft Day," which is ironic, because both the song and Manziel suck. Not only has Manziel shown glaring deficiencies as an NFL quarterback, but his personal life finally hit the wall when he was admitted to a rehab center after the conclusion of the 2014 NFL season. And though Drake seems to genuinely like Manziel on a personal level, we'd be extremely surprised if you saw him wearing a #2 Cleveland Browns jersey any time soon. Johnny Football is yet another frontrunning effort gone awry for the single biggest rapper on the planet. You can't win 'em all, Drizzy.
THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS
- This one is a real headscratcher. Not only is Drake not from Kentucky -- he's not even from the United States. If there ever was a school that a rapper from Toronto, Ontario, could NEVER justify rooting for, it'd be UK. Alas, Drake knows that John Calipari will always have the best recruiting class, which means the team will always be good, which means they'll be in the news and on TV...which means Drake can make appearances at games and get some free publicity. Some very sad, quiet publicity. Kentucky has left Drake with his dick in his hands for two years running now.
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) April 6, 2015
THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
- Frontrunning has it advantages, of course, but it also puts you at risk of sustaining the soul-crushing effect of an epic defeat on the biggest stage. Drake, who is the sports fan equivelant of all four horsemen of the apocalpyse, weighed down the Seahawks bandwagon just enough to influence whatever mystical forces pried Super Bowl XLIX from Ricardo Lockette's finger tips. You starting to see a pattern here?
— James Benjamin (@JamesBenjamin86) May 21, 2014
THE MIAMI HEAT
- Drake's favorite NBA team for the rather suspicious duration of exactly four seasons has caused many to wonder whether he just roots for whatever team has the most prolific player,
Chris Anderson LeBron James. It's not -- Drake simply likes how Eric Spolestra runs his proprietary high-paced offensive system from tipoff to the final horn. Regardless of why he likes/liked them, the Miami Heat lost a heartbreaker to the Spurs in last year's NBA Finals, then followed it up by missing the playoffs entirely this season. Here ya go, Drake -- two additional basketball bummers for your collection of disappointing finishes for the current fiscal year.
— Terez Owens (@TerezOwens) June 9, 2014
- Although Drake has also thrown his support behind Chelsea, he's indentified as a Man United "supporter" first and foremost. Shocker, right? We love the idea of hooligan Drake marching to another club's pub to start some trouble, only to be faced with the space-time paradox of fighting himself, as he is apparently also a supporter of Manchester City. But the gods are aware of his mixed allegiances, which is precisely why United cidn't qualify for this year's Champions League, lost to Arsenal in their year's FA Cup, and currently finds themselves on the cusp of not qualifying for next year's UCL, as well. Luckily, Drake's back up club, Chelsea, is running away with the Premier League, so at least he's got something to pretend to celebrate with his "friends."
- Oh boy, this shitshow could very well be the embodiment of Drake's karmic retrobution. Naturally, Drake's favorite team of all the Toronto franchises is the enternal flame of ineptitude that is the Maple Leafs -- which has been burning brighter than ever as of late. And while we cannot accuse him of frontrunning in this specific instance, we can blame him for the Leafs historically bad season. They finished 2014-15 with the third worst record in the NHL this season and find themselves as one of only two Canadian hockey clubs watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs from their couches.
- Drake isn't much of a baseball guy, but he's considered a Toronto Blue Jays fan seeing as he's done promos for them in the past. The Jays went into the 2014 MLB season with a payroll of $132,628,700. They finished third in AL East. His backup team wasn't so lucky, either.
— Mason Florus (@bigmase75) August 6, 2014
- Drake spent the last 365 days openly pulling for at least four teams (Heat, Raptors, Seahawks, Kentucky), all of which were in first place in their respective divisions/conferences at some point since this time last year. Three made the finals and lost, while the Raptors -- who won the Atlantic Division for the third time in franchise history -- met a swift exit to the lower-seeded Washington Wizards. Can we definitively say he is the cause of this? Yes. This is entirely Drake's fault.
Photo via Getty
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