David Stern Is Stepping Down In 2014

  • Glenn Davis

The (abbreviated) web roundup for Thursday, October 25. Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. See anything that should be on SportsGrid? Send it to tips@sportsgrid.com. Now, our starting… few.

1. David Stern will abdicate his throne.

And he wants to make real sure we all know he’s not retiring. “You’re not getting rid of David Stern,” he said. “You are never getting rid of David Stern. I am immortal. I – I am God.” Okay, fine, he didn’t actually say that, but wouldn’t our world be a better place if he did?

2. A live shark fell onto a golf course.

Apparently it was dropped onto the course by a bird of prey. Well, that’s what the Mutant SuperSharks want you to think. What, you don’t think they’re walking among us right now, posing as humans, making up innocent-sounding stories about themselves and plotting their takeover of mankind? Fine, keep your head in the sand. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

3. Chris Cooley tried to get a case of beer from the Redskins in his return contract.

Just in case you didn’t love Chris Cooley enough.

Not sports related, still important.

The Exorcist as ’80s sitcom; Why a T-Rex would rip a Triceratops’ head off.

Food porn of the day.

Giant sushi. [via Death and Taxes]

And finally, tonight…

Read the first sentence of the article (the article proper, not the headline) below. and don’t laugh. Tell us in the comments if you managed to do it (or if you didn’t). No one we’ve shown it to thus far has successfully avoided laughter. [via]

Getty photo, by Jeff Zelevansky