Fantasy Casting Stephen Colbert’s First Sports Guests
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert debuts on Tuesday, and the first rack of guests looks intellectually delicious -- George Clooney and Jeb! Bush. Will they appear together, British-panel-show style? Because that would be great, and would probably result in Clooney clubbing Jeb with a Late Show mug. Alas, probably not.
The guest lineup for the first two weeks has been revealed (Amy Schumer, Elon Musk, Stephen King, etc.,) but one thing I noticed -- no sports guests. They've got a Paul Simon tribute band fergoshsakes, but no sports-related content.
It seems as if Stephen is on unsteady ground here. So we present our fantasy casting for Month One of his new show. Here are the sports guests we'd like to see:
Tom Brady and Roger Goodell
Colbert's Comedy Central show left the air on Dec. 18, so he missed Deflategate. Too bad, as all we've got from him concerning the controversy are promo snippets like the one above, in which he pleads with Pope Francis to reduce Tom Brady's suspension (obviously filmed prior to recent rulings). Brady and Goodell could appear in separate segments, and perhaps come together toward the end for a competition bit ... say, a game of "pin the blame on the equipment guy."
Wake Forest Football Coach Dave Clawson
Clawson has vowed to boycott the entire first year of Colbert's show, following Colbert's rip on the football program at the school's graduation ceremony in May. As commencement speaker, Colbert said:
"While Wake has been a trailblazer, this has been a school that respects tradition; traditions like rolling the quad with toilet paper after big wins. And this is actually an eco-friendly tradition because, looking at this season's win-loss record, you guys saved a lot of paper."
"You invite someone like that, and I’m sure they paid him a fairly healthy sum to be our speaker, and it was not needed and not appreciated."
Wake Forest was 3-9 in 2014.
Colbert and Clawson could bury the hatchet, and talk Lord of the Rings ... oops, no, maybe a touchy subject.
Colbert is a practicing Catholic, Tebow a devout Protestant. The Pope will have just visited the U.S., so let the conversation begin. Tebow, cut by the Eagles on Saturday, could discuss his options, among them the Canadian Football League. And this has to be Colbert's first cooking segment: "Tim Tebow's Maine Pumpkin Bread."
Perfect. There's probably no more polarizing figure in the world of sports right now than Schilling, the ex-Red Sox pitching great and devout conservative/religious social media warrior. How great would it be for Colbert to interview a broadcaster who got kicked off the Little League World Series for being too controversial? Last week, ESPN announced that it was shutting down Schilling, a baseball analyst, for the rest of the year due to certain Twitter remarks. And we don't even know what he thinks of the Kentucky clerk gay marriage imbroglio. But under Colbert's intense scrutiny, we could! There are also pretty good odds that Schilling thinks Colbert is actually a conservative pundit, as he played on The Colbert Report.
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