Frustrated Minnesotan Puts Out Craigslist Ad To Replace Viking’s’ Offensive Line
Rick from Eden Prairie, Minnesota is sick and tired of watching the Vikings’ offensive line's incompetence. Week after week they’ve been jeopardizing quarterback Sam Bradford’s career by leaving him unprotected, and they’re not creating holes for their running backs. Unlike the majority of sports fans who are content to simply complain about their team's performance from the comfort of their couch, Rick took matters into his own hands. He placed a craigslist ad seeking new and better offensive linemen for his beloved Vikings.
Sports fans can be a passionate lot who’ll do almost anything to show their loyalty to their respective teams. Some have no problem paying four times the original ticket price in order to watch two heated rivals battle it out. Others adorn themselves with body paint featuring their favorite team’s logo, in hopes of being captured on a local Jumbotron. They pose topless in sub-freezing temperatures, proudly displaying a mid-section that has been through the rigors of years of excessive beer drinking.
Rick recently took the term “passionate sports fan” to a whole new level, and he deserves our respect. You can view his original craigslist ad, complete with a huge colorful Vikings logo, here:
The ad is short, sweet and says it all:
"Desperately looking for someone to occupy either end of our offensive line to protect Sam Bradford and, if possible, open some holes for our running backs. Experience preferred but not needed. You are guaranteed at least 8 working days, possible more in January based on performance. YOU MUST WORK SUNDAYS AND HOLIDAYS! Unfortunately, due to salary cap limitations, we will be hiring on a volunteer basis only.
No calls please, emailed resumes and game tape only!
You can tell that Rick is a true Vikings fan by the way he added a Skol, (a Danish/Norwegian/Swedish word meaning cheers) salutation at the end of his ad!
Why is Rick so upset? Bradford has been sacked 11 times in his last two games, and if the Vikings continue to let up sacks at their current pace, he could be sacked 46 times before the season is over. That is, if he doesn’t end up on the IR instead.
Rick also knows that the Vikings’ are a run-first team, and their anemic rushing numbers are a direct result of the futility of their offensive line.
Led by future hall of fame running back Adrian Peterson, the Vikings ran the third most rushing plays in football in 2015 (48.9 percent). As a team, they had the second highest rushing yards per carry (4.7).
The 2016 Vikings have had to deal with life without Peterson since Week 2, when he tore his meniscus. If he comes back at all, it won’t be until after Week 11. Peterson’s replacements, Jerick McKinnon and Matt Asiata, don’t have his elite skills, but they’re still capable running backs and they’re getting plenty of opportunities. The Vikings are running the ball at the seventh highest rate in football this season, but they’re having a tough time actually moving the ball, as their 2.7 average yards per carry suggests.
Rick’s action has put the entire Vikings organization on notice! From ownership, to the coaches and all the way down to the players, Rick is figuratively telling them all, “fix the problem or I’ll fix the problem.” With poor player grades (ranging from 0-59.9), right tackle T.J. Clemmings (24.4), right guard Brandon Fusco (51.1) and left tackle Jake Long (46) highlight the ineptitude of the Vikings current crop of disappointing offensive linemen. They better watch out Rick is coming for them!
If you’re a big guy who has some extra time on your hands and always wanted to pursue a career in the NFL, reach out to Rick from Eden Prairie, Minnesota and maybe he’ll put you to work, making the Vikings offensive line great again. It might be more fun than that part-time job folding clothes at the mall this holiday season.
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