Jerry Jones Has People Babysitting Dez Bryant Now

  • Dylan Murphy

Dez Bryant has found himself in a ton of trouble in recent years, dating back to his days at Oklahoma State. He’s owed money and shoved his mother, among other things. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has had enough, except Bryant is too talented to just up and cut him. So he’s decided to treat Bryant like a misbehaving teenager instead as some middle ground solution.

Here are some of the reported ground rules established for Bryant, via ESPN:

• A midnight curfew. If he’s going to miss curfew, team officials must know in advance;

• No drinking alcohol.

• He can’t attend any strip clubs and can only attend nightclubs if they are approved by the team and he has a security team with him.

• He must attend counseling sessions twice a week.

• A rotating three-man security team will leave one man with Bryant at all times.

• Members of the security team will drive Bryant to practices, games and team functions.

That’s some great parenting right there. DON’T MISS CURFEW, BOY. But if you’re going to miss it, just tell me. Please?

According to Jones, these aren’t the tightest restrictions they’ve ever placed on a player. So the real question is, is he talking about Pacman Jones or Tank Johnson?