John Oliver Has A Radical Plan To Save The 2022 Winter Olympics
If you're not watching HBO's Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, you're missing something great -- each episode is better than the last, and they came out of the box extremely strong to begin with. Imagine The Daily Show or The Colbert Report with a week to prepare instead of a day. Plus, Oliver made his reputation in England as a cutting edge political comedian before anyone in the U.S. new who he was. He's a real talent.
Sunday's show had brilliant deconstructions of U.S. forfeiture law and mandatory Brazilian voting, plus Oliver's modest proposal to save the 2022 Winter Olympics. Of course you know that Oslo, Norway has withdrawn its bid to host those games, leaving only Beijing, China and "a resort in Kazakhstan" as the only to active alternatives.
"Oh for fuck's sake Norway, how can you pull out? The only reason we have Winter Olympics is so that you freakish snow people can pick up your ski medals."
Oliver pointed out that Beijing doesn't have a ski mountain within 50 miles of the city, and Kazakhstan's human rights record is prohibitively appalling (plus, it would subject the world to endless Borat impressions).
Why the problem in finding a home for the 2022 Games? Oliver:
"It turns out it might have something to do with the IOC's seven thousand pages of host nation demands, including, and these are all real, demands to be presented to the king; that the hotel's mini bar must be stocked with Coke products; that members should be greeted with a smiling, positive and welcoming staff; and with seasonal fruit and pastries waiting for them in the hotel rooms. Incidentally, what the fuck is a seasonal pastry in Oslo in February? I'm guessing it's something like herring with vanilla frosting."
Watch the full HBO segment here.
So Oliver unveiled his plan to hold the 2022 Winter Games in the tiny Last Week Tonight HBO studios, "located in the heart of New York's historic carjacking district." They have "just as many ski mountains as Beijing," and would also adhere to other IOC demands, such as fully-stocked minibars with Coke products, positive and welcoming staff, and an appearance by the king -- in this case, a King Charles Spaniel dressed as a king.
Plus, obligatory appearance by the Horny Space Gecko. (Regular viewers know that classic segment).
Full clip here, because HBO doesn't allow it's YouTube clips to be embedded. Which can be a subject for Oliver's next show.
Be the first to know
Want FREE Fantasy and Gaming Advice and Savings Delivered to your Inbox? Sign up for our Newsletter.