Here’s Tim Tebow Holding A Terrified Baby

  • Jordan Rabinowitz

Let me be up front with you: this post doesn’t contain much substance. I’m not giving my two cents on Tebowmania, I’m not debating the merits of posing in a picture where clearly, you look like Jesus and I’m not fawning over Timmy’s pecs. No, not today. Today, I’m going to look and keep on looking at this priceless picture of Tim Tebow holding a terrified baby. Because, why not?

LOOK AT HOW SCARED THIS BABY IS. Granted, if I were a baby, I’d be scared if I was in anyone’s arms but my momma’s. But for the love of all that is good and Tebow, this baby just wants nothing to do with the Jets’ backup quarterback. The kid is seriously and completely frightened for his life.

But it’s not possible! He’s in Tim Tebow’s loving arms! I thought that in those arms, the wounded healed, the sick revived and all that was destitute and downtrodden was raised from the doldrums! Those arms could do anything but throw a perfect spiral, so why is this kid so upset? And why was Tim smiling? For yoursake, Tim, that baby is crying hysterically!

I don’t think we’ll ever really know why this baby is so averse to Tebowmania, but I think the Jets can use this kid to their advantage. I say, Rex Ryan tracks this baby down and has Marky Mark take a crack at holding him. Forget training camps and QB battles and two offenses and wildcats — if this baby is a serene pup in the arms of one Mark Sanchez, then the Sanchize keeps the starting gig for the duration of the season.

It’s unorthodox, but who knows? It takes a hell of a man to cry in the arms of Tim Tebow. Maybe this baby knows something about Tebow’s fate we all don’t.