Prince Amukamara’s Pre-Game Ritual No Longer Involves Crapping

  • Joe Levine

There are few people as superstitious as professional athletes. And there are fewer things as big of a part of pro athletes’ superstitions a maintaining a consistent pre-game ritual. So what must have happened to Giants cornerback Prince Amukamara to make him stop pooping before every game?

Before you wonder whether or not Amukamara actually did evacuate his bowels before games, he admits as much himself in this interview on MSG during a recent Knicks game.

Props to Prince for being willing to admit this on television. But it begs the question: what happened to make him stop pooping before games? He’s been pretty consistently successful through his college and early in his pro career. I’d go as far as to guess the change wasn’t for football reasons.

So what’s the deal, Prince? Why’d you stop pooping before games? Was it constipation? Did you give yourself a hemorrhoid? Hernia? Is the TP in the Giants locker room not up to par? Are there too many other Giants pooping before games to where you can’t get into a stall in time for kickoff? Hit me up on Twitter if you need to talk. I’m here for you.