Samuel L. Jackson Is At It Again, And Lord Did We Miss Him

  • Jordan Rabinowitz

What was the highlight of the Olympics for you? Michael Phelps’ record-breaking races? Alex Morgan’s last-second goal? Gabby Douglas’ all-around effort? Yeah, any of those could top the list, but really, none were better than the gold-medal worthy tweets of Samuel L. Jackson. And because we know you missed his antics as much as we did, here is our gift to you. Football is back, and so is Jackson.

Jackson, who brought you such famous tweets as “Great women’s 400 Freestyle….5 more meters & we’da caught dat French Ass!” and “Water Polo!!! As dope as always! Speed, tuffness, durability. STRONG SWIMMAFOUGKAHZ!” is back on the Twittorz, and he is a football fan ready to impart his pigskin musings unto the world. Let’s pick out some of the best from the first half of Giants-Cowboys.

Nope, they couldn’t pick up one yard, nor could they pick up one muphukin yard either.

See, the less I understand of Jackson’s tweets, the better. Half the fun is trying to decipher what it is he’s really trying to say. The other half of course is waiting for the next tweet…

OK, OK, this one I get! Martellus “The Black Unicorn” Bennett missed a wide open pass off his fingertips and didn’t dive for it. Thus, he is calling him a pussy. I get it.

I like the Qs in this one. Oh, and just in case you thought this was a once-every-so-often shtick…

Keep it coming, Sam. For the love of God, keep it coming.