Stephen Colbert Demands Animals Be Used For Predicting More Than Sports Outcomes

  • Glenn Davis

Last night, Stephen Colbert tried to make sense of the worsening conflict in Egypt, so he turned to the pundits who make a living predicting these kinds of situations. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to know what to make of the rampant violence any more than he did. Colbert knew what to do next, though…thanks in large part to animals who predict sports outcomes.

Colbert explained that “science provides the answer” when we can’t do it on our own. He cited examples such as Groundhog Day (which yesterday was, after all), and made special note of the predictive abilities of Paul the Octopus (R.I.P.) and two different orangutans who predicted the Super Bowl outcome – one picked the Steelers, the other picked the Packers.

This wasn’t enough for Colbert, though: he said that “it’s ridiculous to waste psychic animals on sports. They should be predicting real world events.” With that in mind, he brought out his show’s Middle East correspondent, “Christianne [sic] Aman-purr.” However, it didn’t go any better (though much more adorably) than when he tried to learn about the situation from humans. Maybe animals should stick to sports predictions. Video below.

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Crisis in Egypt
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