The ‘Creepy NFL Mascots That Probably Did Prison Time’ Series: Sourdough Sam, 49ers
NFL mascots often ride the thin line between fun for kids and wickedly creepy for adults. There’s just something a little off about these characters, as they try to represent their tough football teams, while also trying to be marketable for their organizations. Teams often send their NFL mascots out to children’s hospitals and other charity events, so having an ultra-fearsome mascot scaring sick kids and trying to help raise funds doesn’t always work out.
With that said, there are some teams that have figured out just exactly how to balance this, with NFL mascots that are imposing, yet friendly all in the same breath. Mascots like Billy Buffalo and Blitz the Seahawk have equal parts toughness and cuddliness.
But we’re talking today about the creepy NFL mascots that likely spent some time in prison. These are mascots that obviously tried to be cuddly, but in doing so, they rolled into that creepy sub-cute area, like a dirty clown or a rabid St. Bernard.
Last time, we discussed some disturbing details surrounding “Raider Rusher,” the Oakland Raiders’ NFL mascot. The man with no torso obviously spent some time at the jail-slash-mental facilities in Northern California. While we’re in that region, let’s go across the bay …
Sourdough Sam – Probably Did Prison Time
The San Francisco 49ers mascot …. Well, he has some issues.
Sure, he’s happy and colorful and he represents one of the winningest franchises over the past few decades, but you should always remember, you can’t trust a ginger.
First, what’s with the frozen open-mouth smile? It reminds me of the Trinity Killer, John Lithgow’s character that helped “Dexter” last a season or two longer than it should have.
Secondly, he’s a prospector. Remember that time you met an old prospector and thought to yourself, “Oh, I’m sure it’s OK to leave him in this room with an open safe.” No, never happens.
Thirdly, that neckbeard is out of control, which makes me think his hygiene overall is questionable at best. He’s like a homeless guy that has gotten so dirty he looks tan.
Fourth, that yellow neckerchief is obviously pulled up over his mouth and nose as he robs trains and ice cream trucks. And those obviously fake blue contact lenses are keeping us from knowing his true eye color.
— Matteo (@Matteooo49) November 8, 2015
The name “Sourdough Sam” is creepy in its own right. I expect he’s sticky and tacky like bread dough would be.
Finally, he often makes me think about Lyle, the racist cowboy from “Blazing Saddles,” as he gets ready to sing “Camptown Ladies.”
My guess is Sourdough Sam spent time up the river after some schemes went bad. Once he was in prison, he saw some things that froze his face in just such a way that you’ll never see him weeping in the shower.
Until next week, please beware of Sourdough Sam! If you see him, give him a wide berth – not just because he’s dangerous, but because of those spikes on his head. He’s the least huggable mascot since Porcupine Paul from a few years back.
Sourdough Sam Photo Credit: Leon Halip, Getty Images
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