The Five Most Likely Scenarios For Mike Ditka’s Cameo On Entourage

  • Ben Axelrod

With the final season of HBO’s Entourage just one month away, former NFL coach and ESPN analyst Mike Ditka announced yesterday that he’ll be making a cameo on the Season 8 finale.

And while Iron Mike didn’t reveal what role he’ll be playing on the popular show, he did drop a tidbit or two during a visit to The Waddle and Silvy Show.

“[The role] goes beyond me and my altar boy image, but I do have a couple of lines in there that might test a few people.”

Oh, Ditka, you mustachioed tease! You sweater-wearing rube! Your coy answer provides us with no other choice but to speculate on your no-doubt-game-changing cameo.

Without further ado, here now are the five most likely scenarios for Mike Ditka’s appearance on Entourage.

Mike Ditka Helps The Boys Out Of A Jam With His Airplane: After attending Jay Mohr’s NFL Supplemental Draft party in LA, Vince and his friends realize they only have an hour to catch their flight to Cannes for the “Nightwing” premiere. But upon arriving at the airport, they realize that they forgot their tickets. Luckily, 3-time Super Bowl champion Mike Ditka lets them use his private plane… and he flies it himself.

Mike Ditka Gives Turtle A Pep Talk At A Swanky Party: Turtle’s new business, a tutoring service for obscure rappers without record deals, has gone under. On top of that, he just got turned down by three women in a row at Bo Outlaw’s summer solstice party! As Turtle sulks by the pool, former All-Pro tight end Mike Ditka emerges from the gazebo to cheer him up.

Mike Ditka Beats Up Ari Gold: As a plan to motivate the suddenly overwhelmed Miller-Gold Agency, the world’s most powerful agent, Ari Gold, decides to bring in coach Ditka to pump up his troops. But as soon as Ditka hears Gold berate his assistant Lloyd with homosexual epithets, the tables are turned, and Ari gets a stern talking-to from 1985 Sporting News NFL Coach of Year Mike Ditka.

Mike Ditka And Johnny Drama Star In A Buddy Cop Movie: Still desperate for a job, Johnny Drama signs on for a buddy cop drama co-starring 1961 UPI NFC Rookie of Year Mike Ditka. Although the mood on the set starts out jovial, things take a menacing turn when Drama and Ditka smoke some blueberry Kush in Danny Trejo’s trailer, and Drama starts to freak out. Luckily, coach Ditka is there to talk him through it.

Mike Ditka Is Banging Ari Gold’s Wife: Still in the midst of a trial separation with his surprisingly hot wife, Ari catches wind that Mrs. Gold has a new flame: World Renowned Lover Mike Ditka. A suddenly-earnest Ari finally works up the courage to confront the intimidating Ditka, who has taken up residence in Gold’s home and has become a surrogate father to Ari’s children. Coach Mike informs a tearful Ari that the only way he’ll stop slipping his wife the Ditka is if Ari gets Ditka’s daughter, a Queens Boulevard fanatic, Vince’s autograph.

And The Most Likely Scenario: Mike Ditka appears as Mike Ditka and says hello to Vince in a store/restaurant/adjacent car.