Quick, when I say the name "Von Miller," what's the first thing that comes to mind? For me, it's the Denver DLB's six-game suspension a couple of years ago when the league called shenanigans on his drug sample. For those that don't remember, he made a deal with the urine collector (that's either a great name for a band or an awesome name for a horror flick) to substitute a clean sample. The only problem, Miller was not physically in the same town as the collector at the time the sample was taken. D'oh! Okay, so that's some serendipity combined with some duplicity and well, some stupidity. Now, let's fast-forward to this week.
Miller went to see "Star Wars" (who didn't) and decided to partake of an Icee and mozzarella sticks, the diet of anyone who has a playoff game coming up in a few days. He then fell asleep in the theatre (WTH?) and became sick the next day. So wait, if he fell asleep during "The Force Awakens," he probably doesn't know that XXX XXXX XXXX. [Redacted for Spoilers] (Sorry)
Okay, so that sounds like a plausible, if stupid, story that got him sent home early from practice Wednesday. But there's a reason I brought up the drug testing issue. While I'm sure Miller is an upstanding individual (and I'm not just saying that because the 250-pounder could pound me into a sphere smaller than BB-8), there is a credibility gap here. I'm not saying the above tweet is accurate, but that's the kind of response Miller should expect to his cheesy story.
Of course, the most suspect part of the story is he fell asleep in Star Wars. That's gotta be worth another six-game suspension, easy.
Photo via Getty
David Young has been a columnist for ESPN and Sports Illustrated and hasn't fallen asleep once during "Star Wars."
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