The Jets In 10 Seconds: Mark Sanchez Was Pancaked By His Own Lineman’s Ass, Pats Return The Ensuing Fumble For A TD

  • Dylan Murphy

We know we briefly mentioned this in a previous post, but we couldn’t let this one pass by without a proper shaming.

Let’s break this one down, wonderful second by wonderful second.

1. Mark Sanchez turns around to hand the ball off for a fullback dive, except the fullback doesn’t take the ball.
2. Sanchez is left standing there, dumbfounded, thinking of a way to salvage the play.
3. Instead of say, just going down and cutting his losses, Sanchez decides to play hero and run straight up the middle into a bunch of 300+ pound lineman.
4. Like, literally into the linemen, because he makes a beeline for Brandon Moore’s ass.
5. Brandon’s Moore’s ass is unaware that Mark Sanchez’s face has locked in on Brandon Moore’s ass.
6. Brandon Moore’s ass is huge and powerful, so it pancakes Sanchez.
7. Sanchez, being Sanchez, fumbles. Not to mention that he just got clotheslined by someone’s unsuspecting ass.
8. Steve Gregory picks up the football and scores a touchdown.

Cris Collinsworth tries to play it off as if Vince Wilfork pushed Moore into Sanchez, but what happens here is clear as day. Sanchez ran directly into Brandon Moore’s ass, and Brandon Moore’s ass went home with a resounding victory.

The NBC film crew, wonderful people that they are, replayed the ass-forced fumble a number of times, so you get to enjoy the misery over and over.

Oh, the Jets. How we’ll miss you when the season’s over.