The Revolutionary ‘Unconferenced’ 2013 Pro Bowl Selections

  • Jake O'Donnell

That’s right — the system that selects the best players in football now ACTUALLY SELECTS THE BEST PLAYERS IN FOOTBALL. Regardless of conference or division, players were selected because they were the best at their position. Period.

The next step is for the guys listed below to be selected in a pick-up style “draft.” This is really happening. On January 22nd, we’re going to have the NFL equivalent of “The Bachelor,” and it’s going to be awesome/a train wreck; at least it’ll be more interesting than what the Pro Bowl has historically been: A vacation. Deion Sanders and Jerry Rice will be making the selections — with the “help” of the four leading vote getters and two fantasy football champions.

This isn’t a joke.

[] On Tuesday, Jan. 21, 22 players (11 per team) will be drafted from certain position groups — guards, centers, fullbacks, interior defensive linemen, punters and special teamers. The remaining players will be drafted Wednesday during NFL Network’s live broadcast.

Players selected Tuesday will kick off Wednesday night’s live prime-time draft show by walking the red carpet. Taped elements of the previous day’s draft process also will be featured.

Let’s see which 86 lucky dudes will be walking down the “red carpet” this season (please, God, don’t let that become an idiom for being good at football).


Tom Brady, Patriots
Drew Brees, Saints
Peyton Manning, Broncos
Cam Newton, Panthers
Philip Rivers, Chargers
Russell Wilson, Seahawks

Wide receivers
Antonio Brown, Steelers
Dez Bryant, Cowboys
Josh Gordon, Browns
A.J. Green, Bengals
Andre Johnson, Texans
Calvin Johnson, Lions
Brandon Marshall, Bears
Demaryius Thomas, Broncos

Branden Albert, Chiefs
Jason Peters, Eagles
Tyron Smith, Cowboys
Joe Staley, 49ers
Joe Thomas, Browns
Trent Williams, Redskins

Jahri Evans, Saints
Ben Grubbs, Saints
Mike Iupati, 49ers
Logan Mankins, Patriots
Louis Vasquez, Broncos
Marshal Yanda, Ravens

Ryan Kalil, Panthers
Alex Mack, Browns
Mike Pouncey, Dolphins
Max Unger, Seahawks

Tight ends
Jordan Cameron, Browns
Vernon Davis, 49ers
Jimmy Graham, Saints
Julius Thomas, Broncos

Running back
Jamaal Charles, Chiefs
Matt Forte, Bears
Frank Gore, 49ers
Marshawn Lynch, Seahawks
LeSean McCoy, Eagles
Adrian Peterson, Vikings

Marcel Reece, Raiders
Mike Tolbert, Panthers


Defensive ends
Greg Hardy, Panthers
Cameron Jordan, Saints
Robert Quinn, Rams
Cameron Wake, Dolphins
J.J. Watt, Texans
Mario Williams, Bills

Interior lineman
Gerald McCoy, Buccaneers
Haloti Ngata, Ravens
Dontari Poe, Chiefs
Justin Smith, 49ers
Ndamukong Suh, Lions
Kyle Williams, Bills

Outside linebackers
John Abraham, Cardinals
Ahmad Brooks, 49ers
Tamba Hali, Chiefs
Justin Houston, Chiefs
Robert Mathis, Colts
Terrell Suggs, Ravens

Inside/middle linebackers
NaVorro Bowman, 49ers
Vontaze Burfict, Bengals
Luke Kuechly, Panthers
Patrick Willis, 49ers

Brandon Flowers, Chiefs
Brent Grimes, Dolphins
Joe Haden, Browns
Patrick Peterson, Cardinals
Darrelle Revis, Buccaneers
Richard Sherman, Seahawks
Aqib Talib, Patriots
Alterraun Verner, Titans

Free safeties
Jairus Byrd, Bills
Earl Thomas, Seahawks
Eric Weddle, Chargers

Strong safeties
Eric Berry, Chiefs
Kam Chancellor, Seahawks
Troy Polamalu, Steelers

Special Teams

Brandon Fields, Dolphins
Johnny Hekker, Rams

Matt Prater, Broncos
Justin Tucker, Ravens

Antonio Brown, Steelers
Dexter McCluster, Chiefs

Special teamers
Justin Bethel, Cardinals
Matthew Slater, Patriots