The San Diego Chargers Lost A Softball Championship Game To Schlubs* Who Exploited Phillip Rivers' Shitty Defense

  • Jake O'Donnell

*Very skilled schlubs who know how to play men’s league softball.

Once again, Phillip Rivers, Danny Woodhead, Nick Novak, Kellen Clemens, Eric Weddle and 10 more San Diego Chargers players lost to the regular dudes on Randy Jones Invitational — a softball team sponsored by a golf tournament — this time in the championship of a men’s league. How’d they pull off the upset? Easy: Hit ground balls to sucky shortstop Phillip Rivers, who we assumed only sucked at the catching part (and not the throwing one).

Ok, maybe he sucks at the decision making part, as well.

Alas, Rivers does not know how to throw a softball.

[WSJ] After gloving a ball, the 6-foot-5 quarterback wound his right arm from below his waist and hurled the softball overhand—as if it were a football. He looked someone starting a cartwheel. More compact players with sidearm tosses can release the ball in half the time, maybe even less. After Rivers threw out someone at first two weeks ago, one spectator said aloud, “That was an ugly throw.”

The game plan worked for Randy Jones Invitational, who ended up winning 10-8 in their third win over the PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM. Seriously, check out how the two teams stack up on paper…


[Graphic via WSJ]