This Massive Great White Chilling Feet From Shore In Massachusetts Is NOT Karmic Retribution For DeflateGate
I'm not saying that the recent spike in massive apex predators gathering along the coast of Cape Cod is karmic retribution for the New England Patriots AFC Championship win over the Indianapolis Colts last season. That'd be crazy. I'm just not ruling it out, alright?
As Tom Brady continues his court battle with the National Football League's admittedly harsh four-game suspension for his undefined role in the illegal under-inflation-of-you-know-this-story-by-know, the number of giant, man-eating sharks spotted around the Massachusetts shoreline continues to grow. Coincidence? Probably. Most likely. Almost definitely. But are you certain some hyper-just, football-loving cosmic force isn't trying to tell the good people of New England they may have stolen a Super Bowl and should just admit Brady cheated? 100-percent sure? Really? Ok then -- whatever lets you sleep at night.
After a Great White shark tossed a bloody seal carcass onto a beach in Eastham, MA, on Thursday...
— Daily Mail US (@DailyMail) August 14, 2015
...a Connecticut meteorologist snapped a video of this behemoth straight lurking mere feet from dry sand in Provincetown.
Unreal! Shark almost right at the beach. I can't believe it. pic.twitter.com/ymwod51vV5
— Ryan Hanrahan (@ryanhanrahan) August 13, 2015
Once again, the chances are incredibly slim that these creatures are being driven toward the area where Patriots fans live because Tom Brady is lying about his role in the DeflateGate scandal. There is no way to prove that Brady's preferred psi-level (an illegal 11-pounds-per-square-inch), and subsequent instruction to team equipment managers to inflate the balls to that amount, has prompted the universe to send horrible monsters to prowl the waters between between Maine and New Jersey as punishment in lieu of the suspension Brady probably won't serve. It's impossible to know if that's what's going on here, right? Ok.
Forget we said anything...
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