True Tales From The Doctor’s Office Waiting Room: Colin Kaepernick Edition
This story is written exactly as it was related to me by my mom, who heard this encounter in a doctor's office waiting room this morning in Palo Alto, CA. The participants are a man and his elderly mother who is in a wheelchair. The mother seems to be in the early stages of Alzheimer's, or some other mental condition, but expresses herself clearly and seems otherwise cheerful and alert. Their conversation went like this:
MAN: It should be just a few more minutes mom.
WOMAN: For what?
MAN: To see the doctor.
WOMAN: I don't want to see the doctor.
MAN: We're already here.
WOMAN: I'm leaving with my mother. We have to take the ferry.
MAN: There's no ferry, mom.
WOMAN: We're taking the ferry to Oakland.
MAN (turns to my mother): She's back to when she was a little girl. That happens often now.
WOMAN: Cynthia has been bad. She couldn't go.
MAN (to my mother): Cynthia was her older sister.
MAN: Are you hungry, mom?
WOMAN: I had breakfast a couple of hours ago.
MAN: No you didn't. You had dinner last night, but not breakfast.
WOMAN: I didn't have dinner.
MAN: Yes you did.
WOMAN: What did I have?
MAN: Soup. And pot roast.
WOMAN: No, I don't remember that. But I had breakfast.
MAN: No, you didn't.
WOMAN: I'm sure I did. I didn't have dinner, though.
MAN: We ate after the 49er game.
WOMAN (out of the blue): What's wrong with Kaepernick? (She pronounces it Kay-per-nack). He used to be so good, but now he can't seem to play.
WOMAN: His offensive line is hurt, I know. There seem to be so many injuries. Do you think that Jim Harbaugh will get fired? I hope not.
MAN: It's a possibility, mom.
WOMAN: Kay-per-nack seems like such a nice young man. But for some reason he can't play anymore. It's hard to watch the games now.
WOMAN: I liked Eddie DeBartolo, but ever since his sister got the team, things got ruined. I don't like the Yorks.
MAN: (Laughing now).
WOMAN: I hope that Kay-per-nack doesn't get discouraged. They have an important game with Seattle next.
MAN: Are you going to watch it?
WOMAN: Of course. (Pause). But I don't like Pete Carroll.
(Nurse enters): You can come in now.
WOMAN: OK, but we have to catch the ferry: we're going to Oakland.
(A pause, as her son wheels her toward the door).
WOMAN: Cynthia can't go. She will be so jealous.
Be the first to know
Want FREE Fantasy and Gaming Advice and Savings Delivered to your Inbox? Sign up for our Newsletter.