TWITTER 101: Idiotic Things To Avoid Saying In Your SpyGate Tweets
There are a lot of lemmings and dolts on the internet that take the buzz words surrounding the Patriots scandals and cheating accusations and put them all together into tweets that are not only annoying and embarrassing but just flat out factually incorrect.
So if you want to join the parade of people re-hashing SpyGate and demanding that everyone on the Patriots be fired and asterisked and stripped of their rings then you go right ahead and do that. It's your right as an American. Before you do though, there are a few things you should keep in mind if you want to maintain your dignity.
First of all, there are a whole slew of people who believe that SpyGate had something to do with Tom Brady.
Set that one aside, Twitter. If you think that then you have not read anything at all about SpyGate, including ESPN's newest article full of rumors, conjecture and anonymous sources.
In fact, Don Van Natta's extremely lengthy article only mentioned Tom Brady's name four times. The first was in an SEO tag, the second was in reference to his recent win in court against Goodell and the NFL, the third was in the caption of a photo of him and Belichick celebrating their first Super Bowl win against the Rams, and the fourth was in the final paragraph in which he references Brady's post Super Bowl celebrations in 2015. So if you're going to level these brilliant arguments against the Patriots, make sure you get them right. SpyGate had absolutely nothing to do with Brady.
There is also an inordinate amount of dimwits whose inability to create an intelligent point regarding their issue with each of the Patriots' Super Bowl wins has promoted the idea that their cheating included the Tuck Rule and having another great player that's not Tom Brady.
Wait, what? You think the league cheated for them?! That's a fun one. The tuck rule, however you felt about it, was an ACTUAL EFFING RULE. There is absolutely no way to spin that into a cheating argument. You can spin it into luck and good fortune, but not cheating. My god.
And what's up with the Adam Vinatieri reference? In what special kind of dark, dingy cave does someone have to live that they include having a future Hall of Fame kicker on their roster as a cheating method; or even as an indictment on Brady's legacy? That's so weak.
Another quick reminder for the tuck rule
morons "conspirators": if you think the league somehow intentionally assisted the Patriots with that, then you are accusing an entirely different NFL commissioner of being at the helm of that stunt. So if you're going to implicate Goodell, you should also do so with Paul Tagliabue.
SpyGate supposedly happened under Tagliabue and was then exposed under Roger Goodell. Too bad Kraft and Belichick didn't realize Tagliabue was such a sucker when Belichick was blowing it as the coach of the Cleveland Browns and Kraft and Drew Bledsoe were losing the Super Bowl in 1996.
Finally and most importantly we come to the "Winners never cheat and cheaters never win" argument; a cute little idiom that we see tweeted and shouted time and time again when it comes to the Patriots to further the notion that they have gotten away with things because of who they are. People seem to think that the New England Patriots are an indestructible fortress of lies and deceit unlike anything that professional sports has ever seen, despite having only three constants across their unfathomably long fifteen year domination of the NFL in Kraft, Brady and Belichick.
Do not fall victim to this fairy tale nonsense. No one in the NFL has ever done anything worth putting them in the Hall of Fame without bending the rules in some capacity. Yes, there are varying degrees of cheating but try to get the idea out of your head that you know for a fact that your favorite athlete and your favorite team have never done anything morally inadequate or downright shady. You don't know. And you don't want to know.
Sports fans live in a constant state of blissful ignorance because it's what is best for them. It's the adult version of believing in Santa Claus.
Of course cheaters win. It's not just in New England. People who throw these stupid elementary school morality lessons around on Twitter should really read a book about the New York Yankees. Developing a dynasty is mostly about talent, and then the rest is about employing ruthless competitors who will often do whatever they have to do to win. If people in the United States weren't so dead set against watching soccer, they'd know that most of the greatest players in the world have benefited from (or been screwed by) the most corrupt and deceitful owners, presidents and coaches on the planet.
If you think the only athletes and organizations in America employing less than honest tactics are the goddamn Patriots then you need to really get a grip. That's not to condone cheating or to excuse them for it when they get caught, and it's certainly not to say that you shouldn't spread your anti-Patriots message as far and as wide as possible if that's what you want to do. Just make sure you understand the facts; and maybe even start trying to face the reality of what the true, unwritten rules of American sports heroes really are before you cast your stones.
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